Tuesday, December 30, 2008

CT Scan and new books

My CT Scan result for stomach and pelvic bone was normal. Alhamdullilah. Blood test was also normal. The first time I had this procedure done on me which required intubated vein to flow fluid. The last time my vein was intubated was 12 years ago for caesarean.

Yup, I must confess that I have low tolerance for needle insertion into my body. But Alhamdullilah I had recovered from the fear and my threshold pain level had significantly improved. The CT scan pictures detail out all internal organ. It was clear to me when we went through with doctor for each organ condition.

Tonite at home, I relook at those pictures and have difficulty to figure out some part. Anyway, not for me to interpret! The obvious such as kidney, uterus are easily identified. My next appointment with Doctor will be in 6 weeks time. Yet, I was saying to big man, I had not fully assess my heath condition as I had not done full medical check-up…Next on the list.

Today, again we went to Kunikuniya. I pick-up another 2 books to end my book collection for this year. These are:
  1. Eat Right 4 your type, Dr. Adamo
  2. Live right 4 your type, Dr. Adamo

These books will provide some guidance for healthy life and to be experimented for some do and don’t eat based on my O blood type. Both Big man and lil man share same blood type that is A type. We compare list of what to take and what to avoid. Very interesting to know and perhaps to test.

While Maal Hijrah 1430 was welcome with full hearted, Gregorian calendar 2008 curtain is almost closing down and another new year is approaching. Much to be reflected and pondered… Could I write about it?...Maybe later.

Anggerik Merah
31 December
12:14 am

Sunday, December 28, 2008

About health, books and romantic spot on

I told big man two days ago..”I am tired of dealing with this flu and fever”… I noticed that it had become a monthly routine to get this symptom. Then I said to him…”let’s go out from house”…. Yes, that in a way psychologically helps. Cycling for about 8 km to get sweat plus hot lemon tea with honey and wondering around IKEA.
Alhamdullilah, manage to get it over without antibiotic this time. Feel more energetic today and refreshing. And back on my feet. Of course the dam has exploded this morning. What a release.. I have to be ready for CT scan on Tuesday for my stomach and blood test to assess my current state of health…i.e. my overdue full medical check-up.

Coming to think about my laziness on writing blog entry off late mainly due to my fingers which could not stand tapping and clicking at time when this symptom of fibromyalgia attacks me. But my monthly massage on tender points help to ease this symptom much much better than swallowing muscle and nerve relaxant. Very true that whenever the temperature change happen (cold day…i.e. raining day) then it triggers the symptom. As I read more about this problem, I began to deal with it better to help me coping with it.

Let’s change topic…

I am a book maniac. Once I step into book store, I will never come out without bringing back with me at least 2 books. Kunikuniya is my favorite spot. Apart from that whenever I am in the airport I will buy book to read while waiting etc.

This month alone, I had already several books with me and I had not even had chance to finish reading them all. It is all browsing thru chapters of my interest first or stop at that point for a while. My December books are:

  1. You being beautiful, Michael F. Roizen and Mehmet C. Oz
  2. How to mind map, Tony Buzan
  3. An hour to live an hour to love, Richard & Kristine Carlson (finished reading on plane)
  4. The hard truth about soft skill, Peggy Claus
  5. The mind gym give me time ,
  6. A whole new mind, Daniel H. Pink

In addition, throughout this year, I had these books. Some I completed reading and some are half way through. Most of these books I picked up at several airport bookshop during my travel and transit. Also a few from talks organized by company.

  1. It’s not how good you are, it’s how good you want to be, Paul Arden
  2. The last lecture, Randy Pausch (completed on plane during journey back from Rio)
  3. NLP 4u, Ian L. Halsall
  4. Inside Steve’s Brain, Leander Kahney
  5. What it Takes, speak up, step up, move up, Amy Henry
  6. Instant Confidence, the power to go for anything you want, Paul McKenna (I used its free mind-programming CD more frequent to relax my tired mind whenever I need)
  7. Life is an open secret, Sis Zabrina ( I also have the other book of sis Zabrina)
  8. From can’t to can, Nikolas Bishop and Ian Halsall
  9. Ideas spotting, Sam Harrison

Total of 15 books/year. On average I could be finishing at least 1 or 2 books a months. Should do better next year on getting finish part.

On top of these books, I subscribed to Psychologies Magazine which I receive every month. On top of that I also love to pick-up magazine related to woman.. depending on article which interest me.

As I look back on these books, I realize I could be turning myself into psychologist. Interesting enough, during a compulsory interview ( I was among the first batch of staff had to undergo this new requirement) which I had to go through for promotion the interviewer (outside consultant) was actually have a degree in Business and Psychology.

I was making a joke to the interviewer during feedback session of the interview result and recommendation,…. ”maybe I should consider changing my profession or something to do after retirement”…hehehe…not a bad idea at all!!

Above all, the truth is that sometimes we (definately for myself) need to learn how to train our brain with several techniques just to keep positive outlook and maintain positive mood even during riding perfect storm in rat racing world, keeping healthy under stress environment etc etc… not to forget, ultimately from HIM that we ask for direction, protection, forgiveness and guidance in life..

I digress my thought again to another topic..

Last month both big man and I were in the clinic waiting to see GP due to my flu and fever. Nobody was there except both of us. We don’t think that we were extra romantic…it was just both of us sit next to each other and talking. I am not sure if I lean my head on big man’s shoulder that time.

Suddenly, we heard someone came from the back and stopped in front of us…that was Dr. Amir Farid (used to be my gynae and the one delivered my baby 12 years ago). We had not talked to him for a while. Guest what he said to both of us…” You know what, it feel good to observe a romantic couple just like both you…”

Before we had chance to say anything, if we have anything to say, he continued… “Now days, married and followed with divorce are so common. Most of my patients came to see me and shared about their spouse with so much of problem..”.

Both of us have no idea what to say to response to him…All I remember saying was “ With so much of very challenging world, fast life etc…then marriage and divorce and the cycle goes on and on..By the way, doc…we had not seen you for a while…and all we can say is that you look younger than you used to..”

He continued with smile and said..” Many people noticed that. Some of my friends told me that I look younger than 5 years ago and you see, I have to be an example for the product I am promoting which help to reverse the aging process for a while…and this is the effect on me too..But this will not last forever though…. We can’t stop aging forever. More importantly, we must be happy and contented with our self”…

I responded and smiled back to him..” Ok then, will come back to see you if we think we need that”. Until now we never did see him. Maybe because we don’t feel we need it. Or if we could use natural food and live healthy life style, then hopefully it helps to slow down aging process….yes?

That’s about health, books and romantic spot on…

Salam Maal hijrah to all. May Allah protect us and guide us along the right path in life. AMIN…

From Anggerik Merah
December 28, 2008
7:24 pm


All pics were taken in Bali, April 2008 to create colourful environment.

please forgive my spelling and grammar… Most of the time I ignore checking my English as I let my fingers clicking..Came back to notice my spelling was wrong and many other mistakes. I wish not to be so perfect as I learn more to be imperfect one!

Friday, December 26, 2008

Brain scribble

Dealing with flu and PMS at the same time is horrible. The unstable mood swing and the feeling of something going to be exploded…yes that is the feeling. Anyway, just goes with the flow…
Few more days will be new year… What had I left this year is considered quite full of surprises and trial. But that is all I left to what had destined me to be. Accepting it and do the best I could to sort things out and deals with challenges. Also the EFT methods ….eventhough I have this feeling I completely and deeply accept myself. Nevertheless, always thinks of the positive side of all the tests and tribulations and am feel lucky to realise that others had been through much more.

The journey through out this year lead me to another experience in life which somehow shape up myself to be more a listener, a rebel, etc etc… a long lists..

And I feel so very tired now. I need to rest and continue writing when I feel like. Please ignore me. I am just trying hard to translate whatever in my mind into some kind of writing.. Not sure if this is the symthom of Fibromyalgia which I was diagnosed with. Whatever it is I have to deal with it.

Brain scrible..
Anggerik M
11:30 pm
December 26, 2008

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


As I started to enjoy my holiday with some plans to achieve, I catch flu... hopes it goes away fast enough. Now, my head is so heavy and feel so sleepy.. Will come back to write.


11:48 pm
Dec 24, 2008

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Days of my life 1

I had not been writing for a wee while. Maid-less made me running around a bit more to do chores. So not much time to spare on writing in the blog although too many things happened and worth sharing. Moreover, right after Aidiladha I had been to courses, forum, conferences and hardly stick in the office. It seems that end of the year too many events going on. Taking a week break during raya week was bliss. Loads of physical activities such as kenduri kendara, get together with relatives and family. Once back to office this week, I started to get migrane again. A sign of stress… Once I had that I need to get away from office and just relax. Otherwise my head felt like it is going to explode. I have a thought of writing entry everyday for the remaining days of this year. Somehow, once I am back to home I would prefer to watch my favourite Oprah series. Quite stimulating. Also I am glued to Refflesia drama series. I become cough potato. That is life.

I must accept the compliment made about me most of the time when I meet old friends or the mat salleh’s at conferences. The usual remark I had….You look very young…hehehe…I hope I will look like this for another 20 years…hehehe. But the challenge I had when started conversation with most Mat Salleh/outsiders especially those who are experts, their first impression on me was that I am still new in workforce. However, as continue with conversation and exchange ideas/experiences, they started to be curious and asking me how long had I been in this industry…hehehe…don’t judge the book by its covers. Honestly, I could pretend to be ignorance (just like a school girl) until people started to bullshit and then I started to comments them…then they mellowed down.

Counting down for this year is coming closer. Times flies and much happening in life. Reflecting on life I had been through this year, I thanks to HIM for all that he had given me and my family. Focusing on some aspects of life and take one at a time has been my approach. I rather kept personal life story in the back of my memory. In term of career, Alhamdullilah I managed to move one step up recently after been through so much hurdle and challenging barriers imposed by new procedure in the company. I am always been in the tough part. But on the other hand, it make me more resilience and raised my confident level after successfully been thru the hurdle. It is all what HE had installed for me and I accepted it.

I love this song...it is really beautiful.... let's ponder for a moment

Ordinary Day

I wish I could tell you

the things I never got the chance to

I wish I was with you now

to see you smile again

I wish we had more time

but time goes by so fast

The moment comes and

Then the moment passes by

In the blink of an eye

And If I had one wish

I Wouldn't ask for money

I wouldn't ask for fame

I wouldn't ask for the power to

make this world change

If i could have one thing

that one thing that I would chose

is one more ordinary day with you

With you

I wish I could see you

and be there where my arms could reach you

i wish I could let you know

how much you touch my life

maybe a little time is all the time we get

The Words we long to say are words that go unsaid

you can go back again

But if I had one wish

I Wouldn't ask for money

I wouldn't ask for fame

I wouldn't ask for the power to

make this world change

If i could have one thing

that one thing that I would chose

is one more ordinary day

With you

I wish we had more time

Time goes by so fast

The moment comes and

Then the moment passes by

In the blink of an eye

But if I had one wish

I Wouldn't ask for money

I wouldn't ask for fame

I wouldn't ask for the power to

make this world change, no

If i could have one thing

that one thing that I would chose

is one more ordinary day

Just one more ordinary day with you

with you

Now is 12:51 am. I have to get back to sleep and continue scribbling story again tomorrow if any opportunity.

December 18, 2008
12:51 am

Friday, December 05, 2008


It has been 2 weeks both big man and lil man away from home for long holiday in Kampung. We went back together last weekend for wedding and I had to fly back to KL alone. I can't join them for long holiday due to one week technical course which is compulsory for me to attend. Then continue with 3 days International Petroleum Technology Conference which ended today. Tomorrow I will be flying back to home town to join my family for Aidiladha and taking a week break from work.

Stay home alone for the last 2 weeks kind of lonely. But the day time make me too occupied and drop dead as I reach home...

To all, Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha...

Anggerik M

12:54 am
December 6, 2008