Friday, August 29, 2008

Salam Ramadhan

Selamat Menyambut Ramadan Mubarak untuk semua.

Semuga dikurniakan keberkatan dan diampun segala dosa yang lalu.

Anggerik Merah

August 30
12:20 AM

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


I was a 3 hour short talk on NPL by Dr Ian L. Halsall.

Learning about this technique as part of stimulating my brain to move forward...

Information can be found here:


August 27, 2008
12:03 AM

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

To entertain my sleepless night...I blog.. (update)

It has been more than a week that my body clock was hire-wire. Waking up and feeling fresh in the early morning most of the time. And dead tired after mid day. Much happening since I was back from Rio last Sunday. Listing down..

1) Attending to the most critical presentation for top management. What I said will have significant impact to future direction of how the management would see it and decided to move on. I had tried my best to deliver the fact and figures, knowledge and relevent impact to current and future business in our industry. Alhamdullilah, everything went smoothly. It was quite a preparation for me: mental, physical, emotional and spiritual...I prayed hard and dua so that my brain stay awake and alert to deliver this critical presentation.

Alhamdullilah, the Almightly granted my request. A sudden surge of energy rushed in despite of my hire-wire state of body and mind. All the back-up and moral support from fellow colleagues did help me a lot also to keep me on high spirit and positive mood. Some colleagues said to me to kick some butt during presentation. My response with a big smile on my face is simply ..."I wan't to get it over with and move on...". That set my spirit to face the challenges ahead on responsibility given to me.

The feedback I had from my fellow colleague who was there with me during the presentation, my presentation is just like story telling, very natural, very relaxing and create loads of interest...and some jokes make it lively too.. I didn't notice much what had I done. Obviuosly, I need the feedback from other to know what is good and what is not so that I can make continous improvement. But more importantly I just want to be myself to express humbly and honestly what I know and what I don't know and my thought. The remaining is up to the management for judgement.

Not to forget my lovely lil man and big man who are always there to understand what it takes for me to perform my duty being in demanding corporate world that I am with. At best, I try to balance personal and work life.... Good luck wish from both of them everytime that I have to perform my duty have eleviate my courage and confidence level.

2) While dressing up to work and a usual free show in the morning, I asked my big man if he miss his corporate world and if he ever wish that I be a housewife (taking care of the family in a conventional way). Similar question I asked once in a blue moon. Answer I got from him was..

"I don't miss my corporate world (a.k.a old office) but I miss being at work".

The next one was...

"I don't wish you to be a housewife as I do not have any idea what to talk about if my wife is a fulltime housewife..."

I received his answer with a least I know what his wish is. With him being at home and doing chores in the absence of our maid right now, I pity him and I don't want him to feel stressful about it. We can't have it all in life. We gain some and we lose some. As long as we live our live to the fullest..that is more important.

3) A brief meeting with Pak Payne, Kak Lil, Mama Rock, Pak Zabs and Jo over lunch time was a memorable one..more than word can express. SMS reminder from Jo in the morning while I was half awake...I thought it would be interesting to make a surprise to pop-in just like that since this is the first time to meet Jo & Mamarock in person and getting to know Pak Zabs... :-). Mamarock could spot me right on while I was wondering outside the lunch place at the same time having some conversation over mobile phone on some difficult question to answer.

Pak Payne introduced mamarock and I to Kak Lil (a lovely lady and warm at heart too).

To be honest, I am tergamam not know how to get into the conversation..some conflict identity as blogger and meeting face to face as this is the first time meeting with slightly bigger crowd of fellow bloggers. I am slow at socialising at that moment. Prefer to be a listener rather than telling my story. But with time, if I could stay longer, I am sure I could go with the flow. Pak Payne being so lively at initiating conversation and sharing his stories, while Jo with ever smiling face...mama rock is so calm and rock too...Pak Zabs have many experiences and thought to share, I can tell..

Much more maybe feeling rush in my brain that I need to be back to office to attend to my bosses and still dead tired mentally and physically with jet-lag. How I wish I could switch off that feeling. Since I was back from Rio, I had not been to my head office due to the need to be in other company outfit. Only talked to my bosses over phone and sms. Promised to meet at around 2 pm I must keep to brief face to face on Rio's meeting outcome and yesterday's meeting as they need my input to plan for the next event.

I hate to leave the lovely group of fellow blogger's fren but I hope there will be more opportunity to meet again... and to continuosly be in touch. I realised that I totally forgot to thanks for the kelapa...

Now is 5 am. I had been up since 1 am this morning rising from sofa in living room. I dropped dead on sofa after arriving home from office at about 8:30 pm and simple yet fulfilling dinner prepared by big man. As I was driving home, he called me to ask my whereabout. I asked him if he needs me to buy food on my way back. He told me that he grilled chicken and prepared some salad. It might not be tasteful as he had forgotten how to cook. I told him that I am eager to eat his home cook. Indeed, I eat a lot...

Need to go for now...

Next, will share more pics on Rio...i.e.Copacabana, Ipenama, Corcovado, Sugar Loaf.. etc etc..

Anggerik Merah
5:15 am
August 21, 2008


Update, 11 pm. August 21, 2008

Came back from office today, had dinner and went to zzz land for a couple hours. Something woke me up...while I am still pening2 lalat and on my way to toilet... my mobile rang. Big man was D (pause and reflect).... I am so happy to hear her voice.

We connected and we talked for a while... and it was an exciting conversation we had...shared some bits and pieces the happening... it really make my night brighter!

Thanks D...and you take care. Allah wills we will meet somewhere.....Looking forward to read your own books in the future.

This week is a blessing for many blogger's fren that I had connected with.... but I wish to remain with my identity as Anggerik Merah in this space..

Sunday, August 17, 2008

My baby

My baby aka lil man is celebrating his 12th birthday today. He has grown up to be a teenager, yet still a baby to us.

Happy birthday darling... and I love you so much..


August 17, 2008

Monday, August 11, 2008

Journey-Rio 1

Now is 7:30 am Rio De Janeiro time. It is 13 hours different from home time. We arrived last night at about 8 pm after a 12 hour journey from KLIA to CDG, Paris, 4 hours transit and another 11 hours from CDG to Rio. I managed to get good sleep from KLIA as I told the stewardest that I skipped the late dinner. I need to save some energy as I expected I would be very tired with economy class from CDG to Rio.

At CDG, while on transit, I picked up a couple of fridge magnet from shop and had I nice hot milestrone soup. Still felt my tounge a bit burn with that hot soup till now. I did not at all do much reading in the flight except with some flight magazine. Hence, the book on The Last Lecture by Randy Paush was remained not finished. While in lounge area in CDG, I snapped a few pictures of airport new wing at terminal 2E. I thouch it is very nice architecture, a combinaton of half dome glass and wood strike in between. Open to the or bright gloomy. Yesterday was slightly bright sky. Energy saving architecture.

With economy class cabin on Air France to Rio, I tried to close my eyes as much as I could. It was an intermittement sleep as the cabin was quite noisy with several languages...portuguese, spanish, french.. The leg space was quite cramp. Nevertheless, I am glad that my earlier rest in MAS did help me. Forget about reading anything...that went 11 hours journey.

Arrived in Rio, it took quite q while for us to get our luggage. Surprised to see my Carlton bag was dented, slight deform on the hard case side. A taxi was chartered by the this country's giant company, waiting to pick us up. A name written on placard was misleading as the first name of my colleague was wrongly written. We had to make sure, it was meant to us. With loads of advise from friend we have to be extra careful with safety in this country. We arrived at Ceaser Park Ipanema hotel, facing the seaside, not very far from Copacabana as in the map.

I settled in the room, unpack my things and had a nice hot shower to return to refreshing mode. I tried to fight the jet-lag only until 9:30 am, then went to bed. I woke up at around 12:30 am thinking that it was early morning (i.e. 6 am). Well, I con't go back to sleep. Get on to internet, check email, send email, and and read news. I did browse thru the hotel booklet to find-out what they offered. So many safety precautions from bringing out only necessary valubles up to how to lock the door etc etc... Wow...serious precaution! I don't dare to go out at night even with my colleagues.

I went back to sleep thinking how to plan a day today so that I could be more effective in the day and fight the jet-lag as in the next 3 day of meeting I will be fully alert. Wondering around town with tourist guide is in my mind. I had a dream of it.... but in that dream, I was in Japan...

I was in touch with big man thru SMS as I miss spending my weekend with both men I dearly love. Big man had to attend my ex-boss's daughter wedding and met old friends there. My mind could not help to think about next weekend as I will be back just on time my lil man's birthday. I had reserved two tickets for Disney on Ice High School concert for both of them for Sunday afternoon show. Since earlier plan I was supposed to be back on Monday morning, I could not be there for the show. Big man asked me if I wish to join lil man for the show...if only I don't feel like sleeping... Most likely I will be enjoying my sleep on Sunday next week.

Signing off for now...

Anggerik merah
Ceaser Park hotel, Rio De Janeiro
7:44 am
August 11, 2008

Friday, August 08, 2008

Hidden pain

I didn’t remember when the last time I really burst into tears. To cry is good..At this time as I woke up for my prayer, I could not help it…the pain which I try to hide, it is burst out in this peaceful morning hours while others are in their dream land.

I manage to hide and suppress pain inside me very well for many many months, just for reasons that I want to bring back the positive in me and pull all the strength, to be back on my feet. To some extend it make me to be bold enough keep continue with life…accepting what is coming and live in a moment of time.

But the burden that I carry on is so hard on my shoulder… I bleed inside whenever I remember about my unfinished commitment that I still carry with me and whenever someone ask me or call me with the title. Sometimes I kept on thinking why it is so hard for me to get it through. I am grateful to Almighty to see all my friends had finally got through it.

Every time in my prayer, I kept on asking HIM to make it easy for all my friends and I to get through it. Alhamdullilah, most of friends that I know finally succeeding after the hard work and sacrifice. I am so happy for them and I dance to joy to hear good news about them. It also helps to keep giving me that strength to see it through the end. But so much that I have to take on board and I felt that I don’t have much energy to get to the finish line sometimes.

Nevertheless, it is not in my vocabulary of life that I will not be able to get through it. It just that so many obstacles that I had to pass through in life of which I had to set priority.

I pray to HIM to give me all the strength, peace of mind and barakah to reach to the end….AMIN.

Only HE knows what is in my small mind and heart…

Coming from heart and soul,

Anggerik merah
August 9, 20008
3:30 am


I will be on the jet plane from tonight. Will only be back next Sunday. Total travelling time will be more than 24 hours. I set my mind to enjoy the journey and may Allah keep me fit to accomplish whatever I have to accomplaish there. It will be a short trip as I have to cut short my stay to rush back home for a very important presentation to the top most committee....

Whenever all critical things to accomplish will happen almost at the same time...I try to just smile and take it as it comes... No more expected to be all perfect...more like enjoy the cruise and be who I am...

Update: August 9, 2008...

wake up in the morning feel fresher as battle with PMS is over... Whenever body hormone take control of body & mind, everything appears to be impossible to accomplish. Simple things can be forgotten, body and mind coordination goes hire-wire. Prefer to be alone in own world...hate socialising. Do not argue as I am always right and do it my way. I can be a lion king at no time...

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

another bit & pieces

My dear friends, my previous entry trigger loads of concern about my health. Insyaallah, I will keep remembering my current state of health and all your advice. Will take it easy as much as I could.

I was in Awana Genting for the last 3 days...another workshop gathering of technical fraternity within company. Over 200 participants. The workshop was a combination of technical presentations for 1.5 days and team building for 1 day. As usual night activities was filled with BBQ dinner, recap of last year event, karaoke, group performance for the purpose of networking.

My main function was to moderate one of the technical sessions. As usual, I always actively participate in the group performance. This time around, again a Kuck Kuch Ho ta Hei bollywood team the song given to our group. Within short time or group manage to cook-up something for performance. One young lady in our group help to direct our 2 minutes performance. So there I go...dancing the bollywood to kick start the drama....good to loose up the shoulder and know the kind of goyang...whatever people call it. Good exercise too!

Moderating the technical session went I tried to make it a bit semi-formal to trigger discussion.

Yes, I have not fully recovered from the effect of fever I had 2 weeks ago. The join pain is still there. Still a bit of coughing which doesn't want to go away. I got tired very fast. Nevertheless, I try to take it easy. I must keep fit for the next business assignment which I have to travel again for quite a long distance. 12 hours to Paris, then another connecting flight for 11 hours to South America.

My 2 weekends will be sacrificed starting this saturday for work related matters. I realise, travelling for work related is not anymore something that I am looking forward as compared to my young days. But comes with the job function with specific objective to achieve...What I need is the energy to be able to accomplish the task. At this point I have no subordinate to delegate since this area is very new for the company. The kick-start is my responsibility that I have to shoulder.

Both big man and lil man have to bare with me with my missing in action... Not sure what choice do I have right now if I were to stay less hectic with work. I pray that the situation would be better when everything is in place once I have subordinate and the project gets going. Still many challenges ahead that I have to face...for every success there are several frustrations along the way...

I need to go to sleep now... Will keep writing when ever I have the opportunity.

Anggerik Merah
August 6, 2008
11:00 pm