Monday, May 29, 2006

Goes on..

Part of Harry Potter Tour to Oxford (as lil man enjoyed it so much..)

Travelled to the ancient university city of Oxford for Harry Potter sights. Christ Church College, Oxfords largest college, which was used to stage a number of Hogwarts interior scenes.

Great hall was used to accommodate the great feasts at the school.

What goes on...

1. Recovering from flu as fast as possible
2. Project Presentation on Thursday
3. Final countdown for writing & submitting draft
4. Fetch lil man (a travelling alone boy**) from Heathrow on Saturday (mama's earlier promised to lil man).

Being apart from him for about 4 me crazy! Will see how much he change within 4 months. I am excited already! But wait...hold it..lets get excited about presentation on Thursday first...hehehe!

** Kept reminding him.."whenever you want to go to toilet to pee, let kakak stewardess knows. She might be shocked not to see you at your seat..and don't wonder around too far in the plane in case you could not find your seat".

He said to me.." mama, why do I have to tell I want to go to toilet..."

I stopped thinking, why do I worry so much because he will be well taken care off as a travelling alone passenger...Ohh hooo..this lil man can't be patience enough not to move around. He will get bored and at time when he is so obsessed playing with his dino he can move around many miles.

5. Life goes on....

ALL TIME LOVE (Will Young)

Sometimes you walk by the good ones

'Cos you're trying to hard, too hard to see them

And sometimes you don't find the right lines

'Cos you're trying too hard, too hard to hear them

But you know what it feels like

'Cos you're like me

And you won't give up

'Till an all time love

'Cos nothing else is good enough

I want an all time love to find me

Some days you're too set in your ways

And you forget to shut up, shut up and listen

And some days you just have to misplace all your mistakes

Somewhere that you won't miss them

So stop lying that you're fine

'Cos you're like me

And you can't give up

'Till an all time love

'Cos nothing else is good enough

I want an all time love to find me

I don't believe that it's a failing

I don't believe that it's a fault

'Cos if everything were plain sailing

Oh tell me what would there be left to resolve

But an all time love

'Cos nothing else is good enough

I want an all time love to find me

I want an all time love

'Cos nothing else is good enough

I want an all time love to find me


Have a wonderful life ahead! :-)

Monday May 29, 2006.

P/s I need link (mama earlier promise to lil man) to old entry didn't work. What did I do wrong? How to do it correctly? Anyone out there can teach me? Thank you

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Of no title...

Pictures tell thousand words. (Izhal commented, it worth 3 million digital words)

Love keeps us alive and content


My body acking and my joints falling apart...flu? A very unproductive weekend indeed, but I am happy..

I am recovering and should be back on my feet again..

Sunday May 28, 2006 4:38

Out of curiousity,

what is this about perkahwinan misyar? Will it make man or woman to have a big smile? I wonder...??? And I could not figure out...any thots?

Update (Monday, May 29, 2006)

Settled the previous incident at police station this morning. Too tired to write about it. Maybe later.

Alhamdullilah flu seems to be disappearing. I need to be back on my feet!

Friday, May 26, 2006

Being happy

I am happy to hear that my parents are at their greatest joy with voices of 5 grandchildren in their house. Sound as if they are running a day care centre every time I called home. The loudness makes my heart smiling and I know they are all smiling too. They sound healthy and contented with life.

I am happy that the lil man is surrounded by his loving grandparent, uncles and unties. He is well taken care of with unconditional love from every one.

I am happy to know that my lil man enjoy every moment of his time spending at the village I was born. I want him to appreciate the village life and observe the serenity of nature. The time that he spends to eat, sleep, play and quarrel with all his cousins.

I am happy to know that my lil man acts as a leader among his cousins being the first grandchild for my family.

I am happy to know that my big man is alive and kicking again after ups and down with his sickness and loneliness. His voice sounds lively.

I am happy to hear a cute voice of that lil girl (my 1 yr 10 month old niece, Marissa Atifah) with round eyes calling me ... " mama..mama.." .... (among fews words of her vocab) everytime I called home. Today, she tried to feed me with maruku over the phone. So cute of her!!! I could not wait to spoilt her when I am back home..hehehe.

I am happy to know that everyone is happy.

My happiness is disturbed for awhile.

Two days ago as I was driving home nearly 3 am, I was stopped by policeman. The reason being I didn’t lower down my head light quickly as I saw the car coming from opposite direction that early morning.

I denied it because there was several winding route just before I saw the car and there was a hump which at one point the car was invisible. I was tested if I was drunk…and all other crosschecking. To cut the story short, I was asked to go to a nearby police station within 7 days of the incident to show the necessary documents. Soon as I reached home that morning, I called the big man to have some piece of mind on what should I do. Managed to catch a couple hours sleep before woke-up to begin the day again.

This incident really upset me and makes me worry because I am in the midst of preparing my dry-run presentation on that day. Deliver presentation is not so difficult but anticipating the question which I need to be ready to explain clearly is always a challenge to prepare for the real presentation to companies sponsored the project.

All that I say to myself I don’t want to spoilt my presentation and just switch off this incident for a while. Deal with it when the time comes which means I must go to police station within 7 days. Otherwise I will be in trouble.

Well..well.. that is life. Sometimes you can’t expect what is coming.

Just like....“I can see the light at the end of the tunnel …but…be careful!! The train is coming

Have a good weekend everyone, be happy and don’t forget to keep smiling

May 26, 2006 19:14

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Heaven in your eyes

I can tell by the look in your eyes
Youve been hurtin
You know Ill never let you down oh, no
And Ill try anything to keep it workin
You gave me time to find out
What my heart was lookin for
And what Im feelin inside

In your eyes
I want to see your love again
In your eyes
I never want this feeling to end
It took some time to find the light
But now I realize
I can see the heaven in your eyes

Cant you see Im finding it hard to let go oooh

All the heartaches weve been through
I never really thought Id see this love grow
But you helped me see
Now I know what my hearts been lookin for
And what Im feeling inside

In your eyes
I want to see your love again
In your eyes
I never want this feeling to end
It took some time to find the light
But now I realize
I can see the heaven in your eyes

Weve been livin on the edge
Where only the strong survive
Weve been livin on the edge
And its something that we just cant hide
Oh this feeling inside

In your eyes
I want to see your love again
In your eyes

I never want this feeling to end
It took some time to find the light
But now I realize
I can see the heaven in your eyes

Oh yeah, I can see the heaven in your eyes
Oh yeah, I can see the heaven in your eyes
I can see the heaven in your eyes
Heaven in your eyes oh
Heaven in your eyes
I can see the heaven, heaven in your eyes
Heaven in your eyes

Friday May 19, 2006 10:54 pm



Conversation with lil man

Lil man: mama, what make you say that I can be a translator? I don't know many words in Arabic. I am not that good in Arabic.

Mama: Well, you are better than mama & papa. The more your learn the more you will be good at it.

Thots: Sign of perfectionist? Emm... wonder where did he get that trait? From old mama?

Lil man: mama, i could not really recall the exact word that I said to you about your presentation.

Mama: that is what I recall you said to me..more or less

Thots: Confirm...evidence of man is brought from Mars...hehehe

Lil man: Japan used to be my favourite country. Not anymore..

Mama: I thought that you are so amased with Japan until the last day that you are here. So now which country? Do you revert to Egypt to visit pyramid and Mummy?

Lil man: I don't know now. About pyramid..I am afraid that I will be suffocated inside there becoz of not enough oxygen and it is too warm..

Thots: Emmm...changing mind all the time? Part of growing up? Or too fast loose the excitement? I could not figure out which is which...and mama cannot accept the "I don't know " answer

Conversation with big man

Big man: Lil man left to kampung this morning with Tok and Tok ayah. I am so lonely. Last nite slept late.

Mama: What are you up to sleeping late?

Big man: Talking to lil man

Thots: Emmm.. wonder what this papa and son are talking about?

Side matter/observation

Swith on TV to entertain myself during breakfast this morning. Lionel Richer performing at The Prince's Trust 30th bday concert.

This L. Riche did not age? His face is so stretch and fresh..although slightly chubby. Plastic surgery and make over? Where do he get all this energy...seems that he is more energetic than before while singing "All night long". Wow....

Another scene, Prince Charles appeared to be almost "terjojol biji mata" watching one of the lady singer showing off her sexy clevage. The cameraman knows his job well..where to focus and to see the impact!

This clevage observation reminded me of my own incident last 2 weeks. With no intention to show my clevage, i.e. I don't have a sexy one but as a woman I do have one. Will story later.. for the laugh and lain kali berhati-hati, a reminder for me! (erggg...pls ignore..I am at the stage of hormane imbalance again..heheh)

Thots: Ok, back to L. Riche, get it...I can't be that lost all energy because I am still many times younger than him..Get up AM!! pull all your alive and kicking all the talking to my brain

To all my dearest friends, I will be very busy at least till end of next week. I will be back to visit you and update my blog when the weather is a bit clear. Have loads to write (for me, everyday in my life is always new experience ) and share, but time will not permit me. Thanks all for sharing your story with me! Keep smiling. :-)

Friday, May 19, 2006

Lil man… we proud of you!

My dear lil man,

Mama & papa are so joyful to hear the news today that you manage to exceed the limit of the requirement for you to move ahead to the next grade despite of missing half year of the lesson taught in your new school. Your teacher was also impressed with your accomplishment.
Well done my love.

Your highest score is 2A. That is for Arabic and Social Studies. Social Studies was not a surprised to us as you had studied that in UK. But Arabic is a surprised. Maybe because you know that you could not depend on us on that subject since our knowledge is nil on this language. It also could be triggered by our encouragement that you will teach us this language since we don’t learn it. Yes, you will be our teacher. What I said to you this morning is

“ if one day, we were in Middle East, you can be our translator ..that is so great! ”.

I can feel how much this make you believe in yourself on something that you are good at.

Mama and papa do not impose too high expectation out of you as we do not want you to be too stressful to meet too high expectation. We wish you not only learn but to be excited, curious and motivated by your subject. We tried as much as we could to help you during this process.

Mama can only help motivating you from far and papa had done a big job there to guide you with lessons. I knew papa is very excellent and patience teacher which I don’t have much in me (Thanks so much papa!). What I have is only strong determination, courage and motivation which inspire you to do the best that you can.

Thanks to you sayang for hard work and doing your best. Although sometimes mama can smell from your voice through phone that some subjects you felt only half that you managed to answer and the remaining you did not really understand the question. Don’t worry, will give it sometime for you to catch –up.

Well, my love, that is already a big achievement … we are proud of you.

You also inspired me and continue to do so in many ways. Do you still remember when I was practicing for my presentation for Madrid that evening. I asked you to comment. The first time that I was practicing to explain the material verbally before leaving for Madrid the next day. I stumbled into word and the flows of thought while you just observing me. After finishing it, your comment was

“Mama, you must understand what you are talking about. Make it simple and fluent. Go slow and be more relaxing…”

How sweet to hear that from you. You are indeed a very good observer although you don’t understand the technical thingy that I am talking about. That word of yours, a 9 year old boy, always stick in my brain whenever I need to deliver my speech.

Yes… you inspired me in many ways which takes me a while to ponder and write about it. One day, I will write all those sweet collections about you who make a different in the way I am thinking and see life through your beautiful eyes. You are a precious gift from HIM indeed.

That is the price that I paid to guide you on your presentation skill for your project work on your favorite country. That is Japan. You practiced your presentation in front of me and we really had a lot of fun and joy together between mama and son! Those sweet moments which I treasured a lot.

Japan have been a country in your wish list to visit. Your reason is that Japan have so much of new Technology. I reckon you get this idea from play station, cartoon and many other sources on information which leads to your reasoning. My love, may your wish come true one day. We will pray and dua for you.

Don't forget to express your sincere appreciation and love to Tok & Tok Ayah for all their sacrifice especially during this difficult time with no helper and mama is not around. Without both of them, our family would have been in a big mess. Nothing that we can buy to pay back their sacrifice. All done out of love to us all without expecting anything in return.

My lil make us proud!

May you bring joy to everyone around you.

Friday, May 19 2006, 14:33

Future entry: lil man, his dino and ambition

That Sweet Smile

May 1, 2006. (20 days ago…)

For almost a week I did not switch on TV. Almost forgot that I have TV in my living room. Last night, I had text message from adik N to tell me that Tom Cruise is on Channel 4 movie, The Firm. I told her that I will switch on TV now.

Some of us really fancy Tom Cruise for whatever reason. I am one of them. I had carried this from my undergrads days while I was in USA starting from Top Gun movie. His smile can melt my heart *wink, wink*. Old habit dies hard!

After 5 minutes, another text message from my front house neighbor alerted me about Tom Cruise movie. I was laughing to myself in my living room. I jokingly said to my neighbour, seeing Tom Cruise on TV make me feel hungry immediately. Now I feel like eating! I am gonna have my dinner.

I went to bed with smiling face and deep sleep. Luckily I didn’t dream of Tom.

Friday, May 12, 2006

A bientôt !

Dunnottar Castle in Stonehaven - Film location for Kuch Kuch Ho tahe?

Park inside Alnwick Castle North of New Castle Upon- Tyne.

Alnwick Castle film location of Harry Potter.

Tree house near Alnwick Castle

Je travaille maintenant mais je serai en vacances plus tard (Read: I am working right now and will be on vacation later)

A bientôt ! (See you later)

Update 1 (0900):

Tengah kalut...and stress.

Bila stress: tak lapar or makan banyak sangat.
Bila penat: dzzzzzz and tawaf kampung + Equilibrium (Yoga+ Pilate)

Nak balikkkkkkkkk....


Keep smiling...:))

Update 2 (2049):

Aku rasakan
Rindu kampung halaman
Rindu insan yang menyayangiku

Setiap detik
Waktu yang mendatang
Di nanti penuh debaran

Tak mungkin terlerai
Di pertengahan jalanan

Onak dan duri
Menikam kalbu
Membinasa jasadku
Menghantui benakku

Hati kecilku
Membisik sayu
Mengharap kebahagiaan
Yang menanti
Di akhir jalanan

Jiwaku bergegar
PadaNya dipinta
Kekuatan dan keberkatan
Teruskan jalanan

Curahan hati nukilan rasa

Bakat terpendam berkurun lama!

May 13, 2006 20:49

Back to work!!!!!!!

Thursday, May 11, 2006


The story is about a single mother and a daughter. The daughter is about to tie knots but she doesn’t even know who his father is. She has a dream (“I have a dream” by ABBA) of having his father to give her a way during her big day.

She found her mother’s diary written about love affair between her mother and men. Make a good guest, who among the three men could possibly be her father. She purposely invited them all, without the knowledge of her mother, to her planned wedding in the island where she and her mother live.

The mother had a broken heart (“the winner takes it all” by ABBA) of the man who left her and took away her heart a long time ago. She never wants to see this man ever again in her life…The anger, frustration and sad left the mother with bitter past.

Life and stories goes on. Everything that happens is for a reason.

Finally…the story left with happy ending.

The father and the mother of “the bride to be” are the one who tie the knots. Their dream of being together finally comes true even at their eon age.

“The bride to be” decided not to proceed as she felt that she needed sometime to taste the life at her very young age before having committed to be a wife to her beloved man.

The end.

May 10, 2006

Monday, May 08, 2006

Tips by Paul McKenna: Changing your life in 7 days

April 29, 2006.
As promised earlier (especially for fellow bloggers who suggest me to share).
For my bedtime story, I read this book based on daily basis (one chapter per/day) as recommended by the author. I did not finish it. I stopped at day 4. The days laid out in the book are:

Day 1: Who are you, Really?
(Discover your true potential and become the person you really want to be)
Day 2: A Use’s Manual for Your Brain
(Master your emotions and release your full potential)
Day 3: The Power of a Positive Perspective
(The art of reframing)
Day 4: Dreamsetting
(Discover what you truly want and make your dreams come true)
Day 5: Healthy foundations
(Creating and maintaining a healthy body, mind and spirit)
Day 6: Creating Money
(Discovering the secrets of the millionaire’s mind)
Day 7: Happily Ever After
(Live the secrets of life-long happiness – now!)

I stopped at day 4 for quite sometimes. It is about dream which I had before, I might have lost it somewhere in the jungle or I had lost in translation. In search of my dream, I slowly walk back few steps, muhasabah and ask for His direction. I follow my heart and instinct. I did not get all but at least I can see some light at the end although it seems very far to reach. It comes and goes. I kept on standing and walk even sometimes I fall. That is life huh! We have to keep going…

Points quoted from dream setting:

There are essentially only 3 things you need to have a wonderful life:

1. A clear direction (your dream)
2. A well-aligned compass (your values)
3. Milestones you can visit along the way to your ultimate destination (your goals)

We can think about it like this:
When you pursue your goals guided by your values in the context of your dreams, miracles happen!

A wonderful story quoted from Mc Kenna’s book in day 4 is:

A man was walking along a beach, reflecting on his life. He had always wanted to make a difference, but no matter what he tried, he wound up feeling as thought he was spitting into the wind.

Suddenly, he man heard a loud ‘crunch’, and looked down at his feet. Right where he was standing, and for as far as the eye could see in either direction, there were thousands upon thousands of tiny starfish washed up onto the shore by the ocean waves and tide.

The man continued walking, thinking to himself about the apparent cruelty of the ocean. After all, those starfish hadn’t done anything wrong! Yet before the day was done, they would be dead, washed up on shore and left to die.

After a time, the man came across an old woman standing at the ocean’s edge, throwing starfish that had washed up on shore back into the sea.
When he asked her what he was doing, she said she had always wanted to make a difference, and she had decided that today was a good day to begin.

The man looked from her to the thousands upon thousands of starfish that lay dying along the coastline and said, ‘For every starfish you throw back into the ocean, three more wash up onto the shore! How can you possibly be making a difference?’

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment, then she picked up another starfish and threw it back into the sea. ‘Made a difference to that one,’ she said, and she smiled the most beautiful smile the man had ever seen.

On top of all this, no other manual is as perfect as Kitab suci Al-Quran.

May all of us have a wonderful weekend :-))

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Asam garam kehidupan..

Sunday, April 30 2006.

One of the nite as I curled myself inside telekong waiting for Isyak prayer and pondering the days that passed, a phone rang. I picked up the phone. So very soft voice I heard. Quite sometimes I did not hear that soft voice. It was very early in the morning the other side of the world. We talked to each other softly although not much that we talked about. We end-up with “I miss you” and “I miss you too”.

Wednesday, May 3 2006. (sent)

I miss you, I want you and I wish you are by my side at this moment (triggered by Spring season, hormone change, yoga effect and misc. related to it , :-))


Thursday, May 4 2006. (replied)

I miss you too. Wish I can be there with you.

Asam garam kehidupan...

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Little man

Sunday, April 30, 2006.

Called my parent’s house. Both lil man and big man were there for long weekend. As usual the lil man will tell me what his activities are when I ask him. Played together with his cousins, attended wedding , ate this and that. He sounded so happy. I told him to see, feel and touch loads of things (i.e. insect, animals, trees etc etc..) which he will not find in KL.

Exhausted from me asking him to tell me more stories, he ended up reading a story book for me over the phone. That was after I said to him if no more story or he don’t want to talk to me then I will let you go. But he said he want to talk to me. He read several pages of novel for me. How sweet of him!

While listening to his reading, my mind went back to almost 10 years ago when he was about 4 month old. I used to read to him every night before he went to sleep until he grow up and able to read by himself. Today, he read to me to entertain his mama…

I love you and missed you sayang..


I told lil man that I write abt him and paste his pictures for the world to see. Ask him to look for it. He said to me " mama, it is embarrasing....".

I was thinking to myself...oopppps he cannot take it if the world know him! Pemalu orangnya. Ni mesti sebab bersunat last year..hehehe

Monday, May 01, 2006

Tawaf kampung etc etc..

April 30, 2006

The week has passed.

One of the day which I felt like I want to get away for a while to inhale fresh air. Called adik N. Said that I want to lepak in her room. I drove my car half way then I stopped at Sport center to
find out schedule for new Pilate session. Too late they had started the session yesterday. Opppsss…I missed the boat. So I decided to join the drop in class of Equilibrium combining Pilate with free style yoga, whatever it is.

I continued driving to adik N’s place. The weather was so wonderful that day and many people having fun for outdoor’s activities. Instead of going to adik N’s room I decided to turn back and parked my car at my flat. Called adik N about my change of plan. Changed into comfortable outfit then started to brisk walk. Fresh air inhaled.

Just followed my feet. Enjoyed myself to notice plants, trees, houses, flowers, people, building,
mountains, voices of school children playing football and land scaping within compound of each houses. Brought my camera along in case I found interesting spot to snap. Stopped over to see a public library. Then continued walking around village. It was already half past seven and it didn’t get dark until half past eight. As I saw several interesting spots to snap, then I realized that I don’t have the memory stick inside the camera. I left it at home. What a joke to carry camera everywhere and not able to use it. I laughed at myself! These pics are my collection earlier but not in village where I stay.

After almost 1 hour “tawaf kampong”, I stopped over at the small shop. Only managed to pick-up one magazine as the shop was ready to be closed. Walked home and do some chores. I slept like a baby that night and felt fresh waking up in the morning to start my day.

On Thursday night I joined the drop in class for exercise. As expected, I ended up having acking muscle every where due to not having proper session of exercise for quite sometimes. But my mind feel very fresh and rejuvenate. Doing it on my own is not the same as I could not be sure if the movement is really correct. Might end-up having to twist wrong muscle!

Last night, everyone left early. Very quiet in the building. Maybe everyone was out under the sun. After listening to the new student, my office mate (confused, frustrated and angry with things didn’t work and no clear direction, stress plus all other typical symptom) and help him to talk it out and get his thinking right, I left office early. Called adik N again if she wants to go out. We went out to watch movie “Ice Age- meltdown”. Nice and hilarious movie for children and adult to watch. Loads of laugh, smile and some part is sad also.

After movie, we went to supermarket. My main intention was to get several sachets of beetroot seed to mail to a beloved friend back home. Previously I didn’t know this plant can help to improve body immune system and also help in preventing the big C. The beloved friend will try to plant it preferably in green house. I hope the seed will get there for her soon.

Adik N and I reached home to have dinner. We ate and talked. Sent her back to her room after mid night. I came back home, slept on my favourite sofa in the living room. Woke up to begin another day.