Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Life Cycle of Learning Stages

As we learn - we go through stages of awareness and competence - a type of cycle which keeps repeating itself while we are on a "learning curve".

The concept of the life cycle of growth comprises four levels of learning.

The lowest level, level four, is where we begin our way up through the cycle. This is the stage of unconscious incompetence. At this stage, we are ignorant, but we do not know it. In other words, we do not even know what we do not know.

We are at the third level, conscious incompetence, when we lack of knowledge has been pointed out to us, so we are ignorant, and we know it.

As we move further up the life cycle, by gaining knowledge and experience in a particular area, we attain the level of conscious competence. Here we have progressed to the point where we have the know-how to do whatever it was we previously did not know how to do it.

The top level of the cycle is unconscious competence. It is here we know how to do what we do so well that we do it automatically - we do not need to stop to think about it.

We remain young, vibrant and creative when we are moving up within the cycle; we stagnate when we remain at any one level too long.

So when we have reached the top level - after we developed to the point of unconscious competence - we must take ourselves back down to the first level of the cycle by exploring new areas, exposing ourselves to new opportunities for creativity, learning and growth.

Ideally, we will always be moving from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence, and then renewing the cycle, in all aspect of our lives, personally as well as professionally.

Successful people are always learning. They know they must keep reaching.

Monday, January 23, 2006

What is a Husband?

A husband is a very special someone

He is the one person in the world
Who is equally willing to share
Your secrets, your dreams, your hopes and your frustrations

A husband wants only the best for those he loves…
And spends a lot of time and energy trying to provide just that…
It doesn’t matter exactly what a husband does

He can make life
Colorful and exciting or quiet and contented

The important thing is that
He is there to share his love and life with you.

With special thanks for the love you’ve given…

… and the happiness you’ve brought
and the dreams you’ve made come true.

Let us love with a love that will never grow old,
Let our dreams turn to silver,
Our memories gold.

Let me be the friend,
Who knows your heart best,
Let our home be a place of comfort and rest…

Let your heart be assured that you are to me

All the wonderful things that a husband could be.

I love you ....

What you wrote:

July: I miss you. Your are always in my heart ..baba
Aug: I miss you very much but I don't know how to talk to you
Sep: No need to pay. I just need your smile and happiness
Nov: I miss you very much
Dec: I miss you and baby very much


On this day (23 Jan)...Happy birthday to you.. may you grow old gracefully and
May Allah bless you with everything that you ever need for this life...

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Fighting Fear or Failure

a) Adopt a "can-do" attitude
Simply say to yourself: "I can do this." Take a deep breath and just do it. Once you have actually committed yourself, you will find that a lot of your apprehension disappears.

b) Alter your thoughts about failure
Look for the positive side of failure: a disappointment is also an important opportunity to learn. Analyse why an effort failed, and write down both what you know you did right and what you suspect went wrong. Next time, try a new approach and eliminate the mistakes your have identified.

c) Keep your sense of proportion
Failure in a task or a test is not a major disaster; it is a common experience in everyone's life. Try not to inflate an isolated incidence of failure into a catastrophe. Avoid thoughts such as "I'll never be successful at this" or "I'm doomed to fail."

d) Stop avoiding what scares you
If you are avoiding a particular situation that scares you, write down exactly why you are afraid. If you fear real physical harm, you are probably correct to take evasive action, but if it is only laughter or ridicule that you are dreading, take a deep breath and confront the problem head-on. You are very likely to find that your worries were baseless.

e) Use your imagination
Rehearse the awkward situation in your mind, visualising a successful outcome. For example, imagine reading a test question you know you can answer well and visualise yourself writing a first-rate answer. This kind of visualisation can help you overcome even the most crippling sense of impossibility.

f) Learn to relax
In many cases, relaxation techniques can help to combat the physical symptoms of anxiety before and during the performance of a challenging task. One trick is to tense and then relax the muscles of your body in this order: foot, calves, thighs, stomach, arms, shoulders, and neck. While you are doing this, be sure to maintain regular, even breathing.

Friday, January 13, 2006

Luck Start With Happiness

A moment to ponder...

Is there a connection between feeling happy and being lucky?

"When you are happy, you are smarter, you interact better with other people and you are healthier," says psychologist Martin Seligman. "All of this adds up to what we commonly call luck."

What is the best way to become happy-go-lucky? Seligman suggests the following steps:

Stop, look and listen. Take time each day to absorb the details of your surroundings. Notice colours, designs and patterns of nature and architecture. This will heighten your sense of beauty and make you feel good.

Realise things could be worse. Make a point to be thankful when good things happen to you. You will wind up dwelling less on bad things and focussing more on taking steps to improve your life.

Feel the bliss. Think about how you feel as you are experiencing what you enjoy most in life. By savouring the sensation, you allow the experience to satisfy you fully and pump up your happiness.

Above picture: my 1.5 year old niece who share the same b'day with me. My little man and I had an honour to name her "Marissa Atifah". She is my parent's sweetheart especially my ayah. Come to think about it, maybe my parent still keep the memories of holding me when I was a little girl. This sweet girl is deeply attached to grandparents.

Monday, January 09, 2006

10 Golden Rules

10 Golden Rules of the Art of Total Wellness


There is no better alternative.
The rest are just supplementary.
Always bring our Joys and Sorrows to God.
God is our utmost best friend and companion.
As long as we go through our labours and hardships in His company, we will not find them too hard.


If you want completely zero stress throughout your life…you will be disappointed. But if you accept that life could be stressful and know how to avoid it whenever possible, your life will be much happier.


Repeatedly remind yourself of this phrase because special people behave and think more positively and handle stress much better than a normal person. There’s nothing wrong with being a normal person except that there are too many of them around and sometimes when they handle a problem it is as though the world is coming to an end.


If you back-stab someone or say something bad in his/her absence, please seek forgiveness because even God may not be able to forgive you until you have done so. I know it is tough to ask forgiveness but I believe it is tougher to handle the Black Rubber Ball effect when it comes.

5th: YOU ARE NOT ALONE whenever you suffer from any problem

It is only a matter of degree. For each of us who can afford to read the book, there are so many more who are worse off than us. Don’t look at things like a horse with blinkers on. Open up and you’ll be surprised that you can say to yourself that after all “Its’s No Big Deal”. Also remember, lest you forget your basic tenets “No amount of money can buy happiness”


Talk to the flowers and be friendly with nature and animals because they will never hate you or back-stab you. If they could talk they would always say nice things about you and love you until they die.

Laugh if not smile at least once a day. Find any excuse to do this. If you can’t just smile even if it is for no apparent reason. Try now and see the automatic chemistry changes in your brain. Come to think of it, the brain can be tricked into thinking that you are happy. A real smile or genuine laughter means happiness to your brain.


Checklist method to handle all problems that cannot be solved by normal thinking or problem solving techniques:

Check your emotions
Diffuse your emotions
Find facts and figures
Make a decision
Remember the power of a piece of paper
Change your mental computer
Remember the power of unspoken words


Always go back to your life line whenever you lose track of your life. Always make sure you strive to achieve the following 7 series of success:

Peace of mind
Good health and vitality
Long term love and relationship
Financial freedom
Worthy goals
Self-actualisation (the power of giving back)
Value this moment, Now!

9th: FREE

Focus on your life line and check on your time management.
Rest and get enough sleep.
Exercise moderately but consistently.
Eat-smart. Drink plenty of water and eat lots of fruit and vegetables.

Practice a new dieting paradigm:
Eat breakfast – like a pauper
Eat lunch-like a queen
Eat dinner-like a king

Note: Breakfast of clean plain water and fresh fruit is best. Take fruit before every meal.

10th: Use 888-breathing technique

Use the 888-breathing techniques whenever you have forgotten the first nine golden rules of the art of total wellness.

Breathe in for 8 seconds. (say: “God, Thank you, I am alive”)
Hold for 8 seconds. (say: “I’ll do my best, I am special”)
Breathe out for 8 seconds. (say: “I’ll only say good words”)
Repeat the cycle 3 times.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Golden Rule

Towards end of the year, I was doing some packing of books, cloth and other things, found the book which I brought with me and never had chance to open it for the last few years. The Art of Total Wellness by Dr Nordin Darus which I bought in August 2001. I read it earlier but almost forgot the content. Contemplating if I should sent back or leave with me here if I would have time to read it. Finally decided to read it and if I finish reading it then ship with other stuff. I read this book during bedtime as lately I don’t easily go to sleep at night.

Sometimes I called my mom and we talked for hours through phone at time when I cannot sleep at night. Most of the time I just listen her story as she has a lot to say. She can tell story in great detail and endlessly. Through out my entire life, the first time I feel that I had been closer to my mom. Not that I share much of what I feel in me but she could express her feeling and what bothering her more to me as I am the eldest. She would be wondering what happen to me if I did not call her at least once a week.

Back to the book, I kept on reading it and understand the content. Whichever relevant I try to practice and program in my mind. Coincidently, two days after I started reread this book, Utusan Malaysia under column kesihatan (one of my favorites and must see column) had an article written by Dr Nordin which related to his current ordeal fighting with his big D and the miracle of X-water. That article really make we want to finish reading his book. Finally I finished it this morning. A lot of insight about total wellness I gained from this book.

Reflecting 5 years ago when I bought this book and read it…I don’t see much impact on myself and I was still young at that time and have lots of burning desire, motivation and goal in life to achieve. I did achieve them. But for the last couple of years somehow I realized I had slowly going down hill. Me, who is naturally have a very strong character, determination & self motivation…”the make thing happen person”..lost most part of it and could not see my future and what I need/want/wish seems to be no hope to achieve. It is all very vague..I could not even chart my future……just like the ship with no direction, comes the wind it tilt and with hurricane it drown. And I cannot move if I cannot make plan. I guess I am naturally a goal oriented person. But, I take it as all of this is the test for me from HIM to make me a better person, Insyaallah.

Now, most has to be built once more and maybe some need to start all over again with fresh look. Yes, I accept that the journey of life is always have ups and down. It is just the matter of how we pull our self back together to the right track. Sometimes we cannot do it alone. We need others to help. Knowing and learning from others also will help us to be back on tract because some of us might have something in common that we experience in life. Helping others and being there for them will in a way help us to find our own track.

I would like to capture the summary of this book which is 10 GOLDEN RULE OF THE ART OF TOTAL WELLNESS so that I could come back to read and remind myself and perhaps this would also benefit others... in the next entry.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

The laws of life

The more generous we are, the more joyous we become.
The more enthusiastic we are, the more valuable we become.
The more interested we are, the more alive we become.
The more caring we are, the more radiant we become.

The more serving we are, the more prosperous we become.
The more outgoing we are, the more helpful we become.
The more persistent we are, the more successful we become.
The more grateful we are, the more godly we become.

The more forgiving we are, the freer we become.
The more prayerful we are, the more blessed we become.
The more curious we are, the more creative we become.
The more trusting we are, the wiser we become.

The more patient we are, the more responsive we become.
The more considerate we are, the more peaceful we become.
The more cheerful we are, the more attractive we become.

This great poem reminds us that we're each in charge of ourselves and points out specific ways we can become a better person – if we want to.
It also tells us what the rewards will be for living in this way. If we plant the seeds, we will reap the harvest.