Saturday, December 31, 2005

Auld Lang Syne by Robert Burns

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne

We twa hae run aboot the braes
And pou'd the gowans fine;
we've wander'd mony a weary foot
Sin' auld lang syne

We two hae paidled i' the burn,
Frae mornin' sun till dine;
But seas between us braid hae roar'd
Sin' auld lang syne

And here's a hand, my trusty friend,
And gie's a hand o' thine;
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot
and days of auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup o' kindness yet
For auld lang syne

Thursday, December 29, 2005

The future not ours to see..

4 months i had been in this blogging world. many many incredible and loveable friends, kakak, adik, anak, makcik, pakcik i met and i know.

Loads of experience i learnt and re-learnt. Life stories shared and being shared.

I am glad to be here. I finally found the beginning of what I am looking for. The journey begin...

Blogging world has become part of me which is difficult to let go...and i will never never let go..but I thought that I need to be alone for a little while for whatever reasons...

As the future is not ours to see..

This is what I will continue to do, to find and to be...

To complete my study no matter what it takes..

To continue to have that natural smile on my face and a lot of laugh. Knowing what is important in my life and pick it up, leave behind the bitter past, focus on my strength, being me and lots of love and finally move on with life….

Most important is to be healthier, happier, live in harmony and to have peaceful mind (ketenangan)..

Semuga Allah makbulkan...Amin

When the future hinges on the next words that are said, don't let logic interfere,
believe your heart instead..
Philip Robinson
My special wishes to everyone: happy new year and may Allah protect you & your family, bless you with good health, happy life and prosperity.
With love,
Anggerik Merah

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Age difference and holidays

Weekend, Christmas and boxing day was full house which bring warm and joy to my house.

3 Children of Aunty F and uncle O were here for vacation. The eldest (24, male), the fourth (17, female) and the fifth (12, male). Aunty and uncle have 6 childrens, but the third one passed away last year due to Leukimia.

The late girl left the world a week before her SPM results came out. She had 9A1. Everyone was amased with her courage despite of battling for Leukimia she continued with her trial exam in the hospital and had a chance taking the SPM in school when she felt a bit better. Her leukimia was only known after she fainted in school just about a year before she passed away. I was told that she was a very active girl and she wanted to be a doctor just like her father and also her eldest brother (studying medicine in UK).

During this few days that F1, F3 and F5 were here, we went to several interesting places such as Dungeon, walk along the main street and went into The Royal Yacht Britannia. Also some picturistique places far from the town center.

Inside Britannia, everyone was excited about display of several "keris" as present to Her Majesty. My little one spotted this at first as he always went quickly ahead of the tour and turned back to tell us what was really exciting in front there. Yes, this 9 year old boy could not be patience enough to slowly follow through the tour route. He either went quickly or went to the opposite direction.

In the Dungeon show, all 5 of us holding hand together as we strolled into the dungeon area. It was quite a scary place but not that scary to me. I was holding the hand of my little one and also the girl. Both hands were cold like ice. Overall we had enjoyable time in the Dungeon show. After the show, all of us were hungry. We ordered 4 different types of pizza and ate together.

The warm and joyous part was when these children of difference age (9, 12, 17 and 24) gathered around and played games Harry Potter Scene it the DVD games. All of them were so excited and a lot of laughed and giggling, name it.. I was watching them playing..and observing how they tolerated in the games due to age different. The little one was the most excited player! And the sequence followed based on ascending order of age.

Another best part was during breakfast, lunch and dinner at home as all of us gathered and eat together like a big family. So, for once I had around me a big family of my anak2 and adik. I can see my little boy really enjoyed having kakak and abangs around him as well.

That is our weekend and holidays..

Friday, December 23, 2005

Why stress????

Me letting out my stress in the blog………..

Need to finish thesis and submit first draft by March 2006. Two more months. Still some exp to be run, yet some part of equipment has not shown up…tired of chasing after it…sigh….

Came to office, no piece of mind during day time. Become cluster phobia. The new student is just so annoying. Make so much noise. Need to be alone at this time…quiet…and spread out all my material every where. on the floor.on the table as I wish…be like that for many-many months until get done.

I am a night person when it come to writing and reading. Office too cold at night. No heating. Cannot stand during this cold weather. Need to be sure not to get sick because of weather.

Do at home…ok..but all my papers are here in the office and still need to check on exp.

My wish: I could build shell around me in the office. Ignoring people around me and focus on my writing and reading. Pretending nobody around me. Me fighting with myself and struggling with myself but no one else. The aims is to complete those chapters with good story!!

My wish: from now on…always ask what is it for me?…reduce charity work! Just like my dear twin sister when she was doing hers. I have to learn to be like her right now. A bit selfish…and think about myself first before others. After all that is my mission! Nobody else cares if I accomplish mine or not here in this group. Yes nobody really cares except several who always there for me, giving me the go-go and also my inner voice which always up and down.

Whatelse? At home..

My little man waiting for me to come early every nite, to sleep with him..I did come most of the time. We could spare some precious time together. Me tickle him and hug him and kiss him like a baby..

My little man…many times protesting for not wanting to go back to Msia. Everytime, I remind him of the time will come when he has to leave, both of his eyes flooded with tears. I can’t show him how sad I am to see him like that but I have to tell him why he has to go back and why I have to stay here for a while. I will make sure that I will hold my tears and keep my smile when the time to say good bye to him at the airport in a month time. Just like the mother of 4 childrens in Narnia film at the train station scene.

At home, I have to do and initiate everything. A longgggggggg lists and sometimes I don’t feel like thinking or doing it. Another round of packing things to send back, things to be left with me. Bills to pay. House to decide to let go or keep. Sorting out where do I stay during this period. The student welfare office told me that I might not be able to get a room in campus. What I need is a room, a little kitchen. That is all. Some of my friends offered to stay with them, but I have not decided because of many reasons to be considered. To get a cheap house for short term will be very difficult. But I will try.

My wish: I could stay in my current rented house. With my bed and table. I had advertised if any female muslim would share with me but no response so far (hope this will work-out). Too expensive for me to pay on my own and stay alone (£600/month). Most of the time I will not be at home. What a waste…

What else????...........don’t want to talk about xxxx…ohhhh how I wish I have a soulmate especially at this moment of time….just in my wishes dream!

enough-enough!!!!! Take one at a time…..Arghhhhh…. feel much better to let the stress-out.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Life goes on

For almost 2 years Allah had tested me with some unhealthy state of my body.

I had gradually lost my taste and smell sense….It was very weird that I cannot even smell strong perfume that I used everyday. All smell was just like natural gas which I was exposed day by day. Everything is tasteless to me…Dr said I had hayfever and sinusitis…I kept going on and on… It took me quite a while to figure out that it smell natural gas. That was after I went to Amsterdam for a couple days. Every morning, the smell of bread was exactly natural gas. All food smells the same to me. No differentiation. Very lucky after almost one year suffering of total lost of smell and taste, it slowly comes back after avoiding in direct contact of gases and chemicals.

It takes 1 year to get appointment to see specialist!! That is normal here especially when there is no obvious sign that the disease could lead to fatality. Not like in our country, we could see specialist and rule out all the possibilities within short period of time.

The centre of my skull was also curved in, but no pain. But I did lost memory though. A lot of things I could not remember. Complained to GP. Skull x-ray was made. Yes there is curve in part of my skull. Dr said that it could be due to stress and my two part of skull may not fuse together after reaching 20 years old. I stressed that I never noticed all my life that I had such dent on my head. Only recently it is there. The GP said, nothing much can be done and it should go back to normal after I complete my study. Explanation which I could not accept.

Went back to Msia with all medical records and set appointment to see specialist. CT scan was made. Alhamdulillah there is no sign of the dented skull caused damage to internal part of the brain. A bit release to know that. But the specialist asked me to observe any weird symptoms. That is the current state of my skull. I could not identify any weird symptoms as I could manage whatever pain well so far.

My experience with lost smell and taste, according to the specialist it is not common problem. He had encountered 3 similar cases in USA long time ago with American. That time it was thought that some unidentified virus was the caused of it. He said I am lucky because I got back the sense. These patients lost it forever.

Despite of all this, I am thankful that I don’t have to face more difficult disease like some others. This is more than enough to make me realise how important health is and how important every part of our body. Never before that have I paid much attention about health. It makes me realise that as we get older, our body is not as strong as we used to be. There is a limit to it. Life goes on….and I pray to Allah to bless me with good health in the coming year..

Do you have yours to share??

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Precious gift...part 2

The due date had come, so I was forced to go thru induce way. Every time I was induced in the labour room, my other half will break into tears seeing me stop breathing. It felt as if he would see that my life will be taken away by Him at that instant. I thot that it was normal for me to have that pain but not sure about stop breathing. But I knew that he cud not see me suffer like that.

After a whole day in the labour room and nothing much happened and progressed, I was sent back to my private room. That night, one of the nurses came and advised me to follow doctor’s suggestion as the baby appeared to be weaker. I asked the opinion of my other half and my mom..but no one would said anything. Everyone asked me to make a decision on my own.

Although I had mentally prepared myself to go thru this but still not convience that this should be the way. That nite I cud hardly sleep thinking about what shud I decide. Finally when dr came to see me in the morning, and I told him..”ok doctor..lets go for ceasarean”. The doctor kind of laugh at me and asking if I was afraid to proceed with inducing baby. I told him that I thot about it the whole nite, and I do not want to take risk of losing the baby..Then ceasarian took placed in the evening of the same day.

Before I was rolled into the OT, everyone cried as if they never see me again. I stayed strong and left everything in HIS hand. What most important was the baby to come out safe in this world since he make a big different in our life. My other half was in the OT together with me since we had earlier discussed about the procedure and all the detail. It just took about 20 minutes for the doctor and his team to cut my stomach (which if I saw it with my own eyes on the other side, I might run away). But it was nonsense since I was made to feel numb from my waist down.

The OT was like a car workshop which I can hear radio and the Dr and his team was talking and giggling to each other while cutting my stomach. Came across my mind…”oooo….depa ingat I am a dead body ke…tak concentrate on what they were doing!!!, nanti silap potong… naya..” The best thing was that the anesthetist who numbed half of my body earlier, came to me several time to explain what the doctor will do next and what I shud feel. He always gave me a thumb up for encouragement..

BTW, a small curtain was laid on my chest so that I would not see the cutting activities on the other side..If I saw it I cud pengsan many times… When the baby was about to be pulled out from my tummy, the radio was turn off and everyone was quiet. And the doctor said…”luckily you had agreed to do this, the umbilical cord tangled into his neck and he already berak..”. The nurse rushed my baby to the other room as the baby did not make any sound. My other half followed him and left me with the doctor and his team to finish me off with vacuum and sewing back layers of my stomach.

This precious baby of us brings a lot of joy in our life. Both of us gave him full attention and love that a baby cud have. Was lucky because I had a maid who I can 100% rely on in the midth of my busy life as a career woman cum mama to my little one. As the boy grown up, I can see that my other half really pampered the boy…and I was the one who has to be the “garang” one whenever the boy was not properly behaved. Sometimes both of us quarreled over differences in discipline the boy. No matter what, the boy always brings both of our hand together whenever the differences in both of us existed.

Now he is already 9 years old. He is no more a little baby boy but he act as if he is a big man already. I could ask his opinion on many things because sometimes his idea is like a grown up man. Both of us are together for almost 3 years, the time that I felt I had more time to be with him as compared to when I was with very hectic life in KL. Soon we will be parted for a while. It make me feel very very sad inside but I will not show him because I don’t want him to feel sad to leave me here..

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Precious gift...part 1

Was under pressure, been married for some years but not being blessed with any children. In general in our society woman to be blame for this especially a career women who travel all the time.

Finally, my other half and I gave up all effort/treatments and accepted the fact that kalau ada pun kami terima kalau tak ada pun tak apa. He didn’t accept my proposed idea of adopted child.

Allah punya kuasa, when my other half’s brother had his first baby also first cucu in his family, things has changed for my other half. I saw different him. He treated the baby more like his own. He bought a lot of things that the baby needed just for his nephew. I just watched from distance as I had my sad feeling wrt his response earlier.

He kind of a bit accepted on the idea of adopting a child. My cousin told me that there was a twin born in Kelantan from poor family. They wanted to give away one of the babies. I had more or less said to my cousin to arrange for us for adoption.

Not long after that, a miracle happen in our life…I was confirmed pregnant never that we knew when it happened…It was only triggered when I thought something wrong with me…maybe being hit by some kind of diseases right after raya back in 1995..

A mixed feeling for both of us…happy and sad and confused and donno what to expect when finally doctors scanned my tummy to see the living creature there. Again I believed itu semua dugaan that Allah had given us walaupun kadang2 I am still lalai terhadapNya.

When I saw all my photos during my pregnancy, it was like a different me all together. My face was a bit montel, one kind of natural glowing face and that was the time when my weight goes to maximum to carry the heavy luggage within me. Luckily it went to the right place where it was needed.

The first trimester, I had to let my doctor inject my but every 2 weeks to ensure the baby was safe to avoid from any miscarriage, although I never recall I had any miscarriage. I was so much pampered by my other half and others in the family..Our love grooming while we were waiting for the little one to arrive. Not only us, but everyone in the family especially my side..the first cucu…That time I was treated like a princess. Emm… how lucky I felt..of course never that I took advantage of the situation.

At 8 months of pregnancy, the doctor told us that he suggested for caesarian for the reason that it was the safest way to let the baby out since this baby was so precious. We didn’t agree because it was not based on medical reasons at all. We decided to go thru the normal way when the time comes. And if complication arrived then we would opts for his suggestion.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

A note from friend

Received christmas card from my friend 'H' who were studied PhD and worked here. We considered ourself as twin sister because both of us are physically the same size. The different is She's a chinese from China and I m Malay. She was the second last girl leaving this group before I was left alone to be among the gentleman. Of course I have no problem with all gentleman. Just that I could not share my uncontrolable emotion during PMS with the man becoz they don't feel it!

'H' once expressed interest in Islam and she admitted that she has no religion and still learning to see which one that suit her. My friend and I brought her to central mosque and gave her copies of AlQuran translation and some useful pamplets about Islam. We brought her to several Islamic exhibitions.

'H' and I became very close friend after she had completed her PhD. Before that she just was in her own isolated world. Did not mix around so much and look very stressful. We had been very close together for the last 1 year of her stay here. A lot that we shared and emotionally supported each other at time when we needed to have a shoulder to cry on. We were separated after she got a job offer somewhere else. But everytime each of us think about each other, at that instant one of us would pick up the phone and we talked about many things through phone for hours.. Our friendship remain forever..

To most of colleague here, 'H' is a very serious lady and has her own stuborn way... After we became friend, I understand her character more and she could express a lot what was going on in her thot.

She wrote this in the card she sent me several weeks ago which I placed next to my PC and read it at time when the tough get tougher and when I feel like having someone in front of me holding my hand and look at me through my eyes....

Dear AM,

I always want to say thank you
Thank you for the most precious friendship
It makes the winter warmer
It makes the hard study life interesting
You let me know that sharing can be so enjoyable
Caring can be so touching
I sincerely wish you all the best in the new year
A big hug to you

From 'H'

Monday, December 12, 2005

About me...

Your Inner Child Is Surprised
You see many things through the eyes of a child.Meaning, you're rarely cynical or jaded.You cherish all of the details in life.Easily fascinated, you enjoy experiencing new things.
How Is Your Inner Child?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Good bye Jim

See... I can't get away from not having my entry..and blog hop.. Less than a day I come back. RB, DITH, QOTH, Kak Teh...I am back!
Many time need to borrow rotan from AuntyYan...suruh pi buat kerja..write paper etc etc..but being in the blogging world is so much interesting...which is difficult to resist! Here is my story for today..
Jim is an old man aged 60 something. Despite of age he is full of energy. He is a witty, easy to get along and very positive man. He is a man who always make me laugh and we always play hide and seek in the lab. Sometimes we just behave like kids and makes a lot of jokes. His presence turn my mundane and boring life more joyvial and interesting. At time when I see him depressed I make him laugh and he willingly talk to me what is it that bothering him.
One day, it caught me by surprised that someone in the lab told me that he is suffering from brain tumor. Had operation in the past but now it come again. Ever since I knew he had that problem, the more that I will not allow him to feel depressed and the more I make jokes (although I am quite a serious persons before and no idea of making good jokes that can make people laugh) and play around in the lab just to make him forget about his suffering.
One day, when friend and I were talking abt my hubby being hospitalised due to some health problem, then he opened up to me 'not to take things for granted when it come to health matter'. He told me about his fighting with brain tumor. I listened to him and pretended that I did not know his story. Since that day, everytime we met I will slot in the question of how he felt now with new medication etc..and gave him encouragement that it will be ok...and he will get better and better.
An hour ago, we say goodbye to him because he is retiring from this place and will make a move to France to leave peacefully and do some part time work there.
Knowing him for more almost 3 years, it is kind of hard to say goodbye. The three of us (Jim, his wife and I) took picture. I told him to find me in Malaysia if he is there. He then gave me his card with picture of his house in France. Nice house surrounded by many green environment, huge swimming pool. His wife explained to me further about the shape of the house and the surrounding.
We continued with the last jokes and before he walked away from lab, I said to him..please give me a big hug will ya! He turned back and gave me a really big hug in front of everyone and said ' you take a good care of yourself, AM'. I replied 'you too.. Jim and all the best to you'.
Goodbye Jim and hope to see you again!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

A break

The year will be ended soon and the new year will come...

Look back what had happened through this year. A journey without turning back..

Thot of a break for while perhaps from blogging world! Will see if I can make do without blogging.

Have a nice day!

Monday, December 05, 2005

Sephia..mystery of life

A year ago, a telenovella
Lost pieces of puzzle
Mystery of life

Trigger mind
Urge and desire to move on
Finding the lost and empty heart
Searching for reality
Live life to the fullest

This moment
Find the lost pieces
Place together
Build puzzle
Key to mystery of life

Dec 05, 2005 12:11 AM

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Weekdays affair

4:05 am. My mind could not stop recalling what happened during the week days. In the midth of dealing with my monthly cycle, I did struggle to prepare for my presentation with only maybe 1/3 of my brain function. Dragging my body and my butt to the chair and let my thought flow thru my brain how to explain the results. Of course I know a lot that I donno know. Yes, you are right, the more I dig out the more I don't understand and the more stupid I felt.

Wednesday morning waiting anxiously for my fellow colleague from my company to arrive. Finally I saw both of them dragging their bag and walk through the door of the building where we will have meeting with several Professors to talk about research activities relevent to our company. These two gentleman I met early this year during my business + pleasure trip back in Malaysia. "F" is a technical man while "W" is a team leader/Project Manager. Both characters fit into their respective responsibility.

Surprised to see them just with their blazer without any warm jacket, they told me that they would be ok because most of the time they will be in the building. I smiled. Now is winter time and you need to really keep yourself warm. They told me that it is too bulky to carry winter coat.

We proceeded with meeting Prof. A. Enjoyed having to spend about 1 hour to tap his view on the his research area. Then proceeded to meet Prof. K and his Team. Spend many hours with them and lunch together. A lot that I learnt from them.

That night, I brought both F and W to my house for Nasi Ayam since they prefered to have Malay cousine rather than western. They enjoyed eating as if if they did not eat for several days. Before dinner, the three of us talk about many things..about the company happening, about children education and behaviour etc etc.. More of ice breaking session. I really felt comfortable with both of them. Of course being the Tuan Rumah, I talked a lot than them while they adapting to understand what kind of life I go through here. F is more talkative, more open and full of face expression, but W look a bit serious, mature, observant, careful about what he want to say and have a very calm face. F is a person that I could easily make jokes with but with W, I have to know how to provoke him to make him give his sweet smile!

We had to call off the day because tomorrow will be a long day for me with my presentation to them and also 7 others rep from different sponsored companies . I called taxi to pick them up from my house but no avail. So I decided to drive them to their hotel and also took them to buy train ticket for their next journey.

I came back to office that nite thot that of going through my presentation, but I was too exhausted. Packed my things and went home to sleep. Woke up in the morning. Dressed myself in a profesional look rather than my usual faded jeans and "selekeh" look. Went to office early and looked at my material again.

Both F and W came to office to leave their luggage and we proceed to join others at the conference room. During lunch I told them that all this people who came to this meeting are the head of technical area in their companies. They have to deal with this problem everyday. A lot that we could learn from them while we are not yet have to face this problem in our country. But the time will come for us soon.

My presenttaion was in the afternoon. It went very well despite of me forgotting about the correct name of the pheneomena that we want to propose for further study. Somehow the name was erased from my brain. The effect of monthly cycle? The good thing was that what I had presented really draw attention to the sponsors and they agreed to allow us to further explore this area which means tons of hard work for me. But they recognised the difficulty...Well, that is what PhD is all about..challenging yr brain, creativity and having lots of luck around.

After the meeting finished, I took my colleagues to the lab and explaining about the facilities that we used for the study. We had a great time in the lab..

I drove them back to town for dinner. It took quite a while to reach town due to heavy traffic. I realised that a lot they wanted to know about I did talk a lot while driving. One of the question was have I ever feel giving up my study. I said maybe 100 times I thot about it especially when I am very exhausted and could not find my way out. But as I get back my energy...I go on endlessly..the cycle goes on and on..I shared with them what had triggered me to go through this..and both of them appeared to be speechless.

At dinner table, I realised I shared a lot about my experience in the company and what contribution I had done which I felt that that was the peak of my career in the company. Always money is not the driving factor but to see things grow and happen gave me great satisfaction internally at that time. I always provoked W to get his view if what I did in the company was right. I knew that he is very mature man although he is not that many years older than me. But I noticed that he did not talk much about it but most of the time so much observed what I was saying. He said for him, he just did whatever that he was asked to do something like just go with the flow. Emmmm...thinking in my no wonder you have such a calm face and I love to see the smile on his face! I told him that I wish I could be like him I mean in term of going with the flow in the company.. However, recognising that everyone has different personality and character...we lead our life as we choose to be..

We parted at the train station and I told both of them that I enjoyed having them here for two days and want both of them to come back in 6 months time for the next meeting. Hope that what they learnt during these two days are valuable and they got what they expected out of the investment on this project. W said to me mission accomplished!

Friday, December 02, 2005

My weekend... Mencintaimu

Saturday....meeting with Powergen and Team members on the project...i.e. dry run presentation. I had to cover 3 topics...My parts was about 3 hours cum discusssion of more idea for future work. Everyone skip lunch.

Right after that went back home and had late lunch followed by landing and close eyes. The alarm clock woke me up with confused time..not sure if it was 7 am or pm...confirmed 7 pm. Had dinner and continued sleeeeppp..

Sunday morning...finally the end of PMS.........feel much better. Went back to office and stayed until nite. Half of the time do work and the other half day dreaming and pondering and blog hopping.

Joined the raya gathering for a while...still dok raya tak habis-habis lagi . Most families left home already. Only adik2 junior still bertengek sambil karaoke. Dengar semua macam tak cukup battery aje nyanyi. Ada yang makan banyak sangat sampai terlalu kenyang and ada yang baru baik demam.

After makan, teringin nak menyanyi selagu...of course the song that I familiar with the lyrics as there was no screen for lyrics.. Mengingatkan kembali request adik2 junior kat office Msia last July dulu suruh nyayi lagu MENCINTAIMU by Kriss D, so I selected this song since now I knew the lyrics and the song better than before....

Emmm... not bad for bakat terpendam ...Adik2 semua terdiam and terpegun (that was the reaction that I saw..), dengar depa dok kata tak sangka kakak nie pandai nyanyi, suara macam Kriss D lah... Dalam hati aku betul ke? Agaknya mic tu yang amplify suara bagi jadi sedap...

Adik2 tu pun masing2 berjiwang2lah dengar aku nyanyi...muka toye aje masing2...nak tergelak pulak tengok muka semua.. Aku biasalah kalau nyanyi penuh perasaan...dengan mimik muka all complete....anyway I like the song and I always like Kriss Dayanti's and Melly Goslow.. Their voice is so powerful and very nice to hear...

After that another simple and easy song which I can still remember..Rindu Bayangan by JJ....nie lagu masa kecik2 dulu lah sebab tu can remember the lyric. After nyanyi, happy pulak rasa because boleh release tension lah tu....dapat melalak instead of crying..

Je vous presente:

to those who love this song..

Seumur hidupku
Setia menanti
Walau di hati saja...
Seluruh hidupku
Kau tetap milikku
Hanya satu yang tak mungkin kembali
Hanya satu yang tak pernah terjadi
Teramat berarti di hatiku
Seumur hidupku
Kau tetap milikku
Reff 2x