Sunday, April 29, 2007

Red is LOVE


Pernah ku tertanya
Warna yang manakah
Meronai cinta
Dalam kehidupanku
Dulu ku rasakan
Malam kebiruan
Disulami rindu
Hamparan kehijauan
Segalanya kebahagiaan
Nyata sudah kemerahan
Warna ceritaku melayari
Merah itu cinta
Sukar digambarkan
Tanda pengorbanan
Yang tak terhingga
Merah itu rindu
Hanya aku tahu
Tanda kesetiaan pada yang dicinta
Pertama kali ku mengenali
Selamanya aku rasai
Namun ku tahu
Keranamu jua
Terus ku hirup makna yang indah ini
Namun ku tahu
Keranamu jua
Terus ku simpan anugerah tak ternilai
Merah itu cinta
Sukar digambarkan
Tanda pengorbanan
Yang tidak terhingga
Merah itu rindu
Hanya aku tahu
Tanda kesetiaan pada yang benarku damba
Merah itu cinta
Sukar digambarkan
Tanda pengorbanan
Yang tidak terhingga
Pertama kali ku mengenali
Selamanya aku rasai

View from hospital's room

Lil man playing sick on big man's hospital bed..

We are off for a short holiday down south... May you enjoy your holiday too

Till then..

Sunday, April 22, 2007

New activity - cycling & the brain

It has been a very hectic weekdays for me...several dinner with office colleage and friends, participated in workshop, went to a concert and attending to the lil man's current donwannagotoschool syndrome etc etc...

My weekend is spent to recover ..

Cycling has been our family's latest keep healthy and build stamina. I sweat a lot. More stamina and strength.

To date, we didn't go very far yet as far as distance is concerned...just within our housing area and nearby area. Later, we plan to be in FRIM cycling track.

Will keep cycling and go as far as we can ...


At office I started my day by reading some motivational article, books or phrases. It is equivalent to taking coffee or tea to stimulate brain. I guess, driving from home to office at 120 km/hr for 40 - 50 minutes intermittently with a slow drive does drain out part of my brain energy. A jump start for the brain is a must when I need to focus on writing during day time. It is alright if I have discussion or meeting.

I pay loads of attention on the state of my brain to balance out with physical fitness. I am really “bersyukur” to Allah that I am blessed with a strong physical fitness at this moment of time. And I pray that it will be forever..

Monday, April 16, 2007

Hi BIG BOY...part 1

It was Friday, 23 March 2007. I was with my sister (the youngest in family) during her battle to deliver her third baby. It was all Allah planned for. My mom was not well at that time. So she was in kampung. After attending to my mom and had a short visit back to hometown with my lil man, I had to rush back for those in KL. The earlier story is here.

My big man was hospitalised and my sister was about to deliver anytime. Being the eldest in my family, I have to juggle between all. Alhamdullilah, with God given strength, I managed to handle these challenges came to me at the same time.

I was the one who sort of provoke my sister to get pregnant while she is still young. Seing her not having so much of a problem, I suggested her to have more. She told me that her other half and her are not financially stable and adequate to support many children at this time. But I stressed to her not to give that reason. If so, I told her ..."you deliver and I will take care as my own".

As God wish, she was pregnant soon after our conversation.... That conversation lingering into my mind as I hold her hand and caressed her hair while she was intensely in pain during the battle. Deep in my heart, some guilty feeling I felt seeing her suffer and I can't imagine how much pain she had to bare. This is because I had no experience of such pain when my lil man came to this world. Nevertheless, she managed to get through it and I was there with her. All the pain was gone as soon as the baby came out.

This little cute baby boy, 3.4 kg, came to the world just after Friday prayer ended. He was crying outloud while the nurses cleaning him. I asked permission from Doctor to take his picture just after about 10 minutes of his arriving in this world.

What amazed me was my first communication with the baby. And he responded to my voice.

Me: " Hi BIG boy"
Him: Continue crying
Me: " Hi BIG boy"
Him: Stop crying and listen
Me: " Hi BIG boy"
Him: Open his eyes to see where is the sound come from.
Me: " Hi BIG boy" and I took more of his pictures when he was in calm state.

In my mind: On my God, he is responding to my voice. He stopped crying upon hearing me calling him. Amazing...

After everything was settled, I reflected and I realised that I should have greeted him with "Assalamualaikum" ...but but..what can I say...only "Hi BIG boy" came from my brain and mouth at that time.

Here he Muhammad Alif Haikal...

He stopped crying

He was looking at me upon hearing my voice
I was holding him the next day when he was ready to come home. My lil man placed his dino on the baby. At the background is the baby's brother.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

donwannagotoschool syndrome

I have been running around too much offlate with my lil man "donwannagotoschool syndrome". It has been almost 2 weeks that my lil man absense from school. With fever, sinus and no appetite to eat makes him to stay away from school. This is, to me, could be induced by psychological factor as well. I am not so certain though.

At the same time my big man is on medical leave off and on. The good side of it is that now he is no more taking medication for HBP, Cholesterol and Diabetic. The natural way seems to be a suitable solution to him. This is a result of his consistent cycling and also proper diet. He lost almost 12 kilos within 2.5 months. Cycling and proper diet has significant impact on the his health. Being off the hook from those medication is a big improvement. However, he is still need to consistently monitor his blood sugar and BP everyday to be within an ideal level and also observe any unexpected reaction. This is because the change is too fast...

All these worry me much to certain extend and I have no peace of mind at office. Switching off my mind as I entered office main gate is what I had been trying to do everyday. But but...I can't pretend that in my subconcious mind...I am switching off. Family is a priority in my life above other things. Giving talk on my area and also meetings with subordinate and peers provide a moment to focus on developing my future career.... which in some ways inject loads of strength and energy for me...

For the syndrome with my lil man, it takes both of us to be in school with him almost the whole day yesterday. To observe and to experiment with teachers and friends the possible reasons of this syndrome. Meeting with other parents also gave opportunity to share similar problems and how to mitigate it. It is good in a way to realise that he is not the only one with this syndrome. Something in common is happening...

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Memory lane end of 2006

Something which I had in my archieve in Dec, 2006

1) Dato A's special treat in Temerloh (the stall near Sungai Pahang at Pekan Temerloh)...gulai ikan paten tempoyak yummy..(only pic of banner here) .

Everytime I am back to Msia, Dato A's will treat me and my uncle cum family with Ikan Paten Temerloh. We drove all the way from KL to Temerloh for lunch with Dato A and his family. Dato A is my uncle's best friend. I met him during his visit to Edin for official trip last 2 years. I had opportunity to get to know most of my uncle's friend who travelled to where I was before. That is the beauty of being faraway..

2) Investment for health ---still very useful at least until now...The machine massage us from head to toe whenever needed or 15 minutes a day. Surely this cannot replace a conventional massage, ...but but..we can't affort to have that too frequent.

3) Cinta adalah anugerah yang movie in the car during long distance travelling from KL to kampung to celebrate Hari Raya Qurban. As we took turn driving, we have a choice to sleep or watch movie while sitting on the passenger's side.

4) My late grandma's sister (Innallillah...She passed away 2 weeks after this picture was taken. I was back to UK at that time)

5)Believe it or not..My first grandchild, I am a grandma now! My lil man holding my niece's son (grandson of big man's cousin)... and that makes "uncle lil man"

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

My plate is full....

The beauty of balik kampung....Kampung style yummy...

Mak being mak, as usual, always fill up table with so many lauk-pauk until we don't know what to eat first or after seing too many, stomach feel full already...

Mak and others know that I love all sort of this one is what I target first to put on my plate.

Pics taken during raya qurban last year.

p/s, did I notice that I gain 4 kilos within 2 months since I am back to need to control my makan because I feel heavier ...and most of my office attire left in closet for 4 years dah macam sarung nangka.... :-).

Most people I met told me that I look better (actually other terms was used...which if I wrote here might enhance further the expanded part of my body i.e. kembang b**t*t...hahaha.) since I put on weight. I was too skinny before. It is a compliment indeed to feel young, radiant and energetic.

But but....will it keep growing even if I don't eat much? Will wait and see. Exercise must go on, cycling that is for big man and I every opportunity we get during weekdays and a must during stay healthy, fit and young forever...

Terung bakar, ikan pari bakar, sambal belacan, ayer asam, sayur campur, daging bakar, ikan talapia bakar, kerabu mentimun

Ulam, masak lemak ketam, sup kaki lembu

Sayur manis campur, ulam, kerabu mangga, buah tembikai

Jeruk maman, ayam goreng celup tepung, asam pedas ikan puyu, masak lemak rebung

Monday, April 02, 2007

Transient thot...

As I drive to work this morning, I make a pledge to myself that I have to leave my previous life behind. My previous life with still intermittent rewrite and writing. My mind was out of focus with my plate keep on getting full off late.

I cry no more and I can feel I build myself to be an "Iron Lady" as I used to be many years ago. I just let the past transit and I let go. I left some unnecessary baggage out of the way or KIV in my diary.

I want to build my future and see it through…This is what I kept telling myself whenever I am alone just by myself. I need to breathe, inhale fresh air…I prayed to Him to show me the way…

These came to my mind as I am back to be in focus to put my previous life behind.. my transient thot.


It break my heart to know that my lil man escape from going to school again today...I don't know what to do with him. Will think about it when I am back home.

The Secret is the law of attraction!

Everything that's coming into your life you are attracting into your life.

And it's attracted to you by virtue of the images you're holding in your mind. It's what you're thinking.

Whatever is going on in your mind you are attracting to you.

"Every thought of yours is a real thing - a force."

.....from The Secret, Rhonda Byrne