Sunday, April 20, 2008

A note on Madness and anger

Something happen during the week that make me really angry and pissed-off with HR or capability management. I was really really angry … and this thing makes me become so determined to fight for what I am worth for. All I know I am not a greedy type but if I felt that it was too much …then I lost my tolerance. After few days, I am still having this burning heart and anger inside me. Difficult to calm down and to control. I tried hard to control my anger because of their mistake and stupid thing.

Ya Allah please help me to defend what I am worth for in a professional way rather than with emotional outburst. I try to control and overcome the anger and madness in me. Never had I felt through out my career such a feeling. I have more challenging things ahead of me to kick – off something new in the company and to present to Mr President and the team up there. I do not want to wish this madness and anger in me disturbs my composure and professionalism. I will try hard to overcome it. I need to wisely strategise myself to be able to stand and defend for what my value is. At the same time I have to keep other options in hand in case I decided to say “goodbye” and enough is enough…I need to earn my living and support my family. I pray that Allah give me strength to go on…

I need calm, compose and assertive… think only on the positive feedback from others to keep me going and capitalize on my talents and strength. I want to feel gooddd...

....My current state of mind.

Will be back with beautiful pictures from Bali to ease the anger and madness.

Something I read from Psychologies magazine issue April 2008:

When Archetypes can help you get what you want:

Whether you are dealing with a relationship break-up or recovering from an illness or addiction, embodying the Destroyer will remind you that change is part of life, and give you the strength to let go and start over.

When you or those around you are getting caught up in the stress and anxiety of modern life, the Jester reminds you to enjoy life and live in the moment. The Jester encourages you to approach problems with a child-like excitement and use laughter to connect with others.

Whether you dream of climbing the career ladder or the Himalayas, the Seeker connects you with your adventurous spirit. The Seeker relishes new experiences as opportunities to uncover their potential and carve out a truly unique identity.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Good to be back

Bali was great... work and holiday part + do nothing part (i.e. looking at the sea and think of nothing). Much to share...

Will be back to share later as I need to comfort myself on bed at this time to entertain my fever and headache.

With love,


Saturday, April 05, 2008


I am off to Bali for work and 2 days holiday. Both big and little men come along.. I wish to soak myself in the swimming pool and walk along the beach.... switch off for a while ....need more serenity, tranquility, energy and longetivity...and move on...

This blog is a place for me to throw some of life journey... a happy, a sad... a confused...and whatever life takes me..

LOVE you all..

Anggerik Merah
April 5, 2008

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Quick update

Happy and sad news on the arrival of little one.

My sister had delivered a baby boy 3.6 kg at one of the private hospital here. I was again with her in the labor room to observe the arrival and more importantly to provide moral support to my sister during her struggle. It was really a bless for me to be there for the second time to honor her request. I guess, Allah had made everything fall in place. Since I didn’t have any experiences on the pain of normal delivery, I guess I could stand next to my sister to share my strength while others (my brother in-law, my mother had not be able to withstand). Since the delivery was overdue, the complication arise for the baby. This cute (putih gebu and hidung kembang) was transferred to NICU Sungai Buloh hospital. His condition was considered critical on the day he was delivered and now is considered stable condition. He had Meconium aspiration symptom (MAS) . Let us pray that this little one get well soon and able to lead a normal life. I will share more of the story later as many things happened which should not be happening and we are helpless of seeing it..

A change of life style (31/3/2008)
Yesterday was the last day of my big man working with the company he had been for almost 10 years. Pray that he will happier to move on and get better in term of health.

Unexpected Accident.
In the midth of buzy road driving to office yesterday morning, unexpectedly I had accident involving 5 cars. My one year old car does not look that bad physically as compared to other car even with the high impact hitting from back. Nevertheless, the impact cause some loud noise which yet to find out what went wrong. Alhamdullilah, I did not had any injury but a bit of trauma and shock. I had never had any accident after being driving for more than 20 years. Again, this was not my fault. Nevertheless, it caused loads of hussle (i.e. police report, car-less during this pressing time). As I need my car very badly to commute from home to office. Critical time as I need to be in the office to have a final arrangement and communicating with my other fellow committee members of the international w/shop starting this Sunday in the land of beautiful Bali. Communication thru SMS and phone do help to talk to a few members.

What do I do to stay cool
1. Dua to Almighthy…Redha with what had come to me and please give me more strength to face chaotic life.
2. Switch off whenever a chance…i.e. some sleep
3. Exercise my face muscle…keep smiling.
4. Stay calm…those who are able to stay calm and compose in the midst of many trial…shows the high level of patient the person possess (I wish to be one of them).

Will be back for more update later if I had chance.

Anggerik Merah
April 1, 2008
8:18 AM