Thursday, September 29, 2005

Beautiful song by Melly & Kriss...

Hop into honeystar blog, speachless listen to my recent favourite song by Melly and Kriss..diulang-ulang beberapa kali...tak jemu-jemu. Kat rumah dah kena ban lagu nie. Nak link kat blog belum sempat discover macamana nak buat and try to load gambar yang menarik pun tak tau pasai apa tak boleh lak hari nie..
Nanti bila balik Msia kalu kena paksa rela nyayi karoake kat forum ke bolehlah try lagu nie pulak..Itupun kalau suara masih cun dan tak retak seribu.. Dulu-dulu banyak cipta lagu dan lyric tapi dalam bilik air aje masa tengah mandi...menyesal gak tak tape ke atau tulis ke.. boleh bagi kat sapa-sapa buat album..tu dulu laaa...La nie dah tak ada dah bakat tu...terkubur kat mana tah...anyway, itulah coretan ku hari nie..
Menatap jalan yang menjauh
Tentukan arah yg ku mau
Tempatkan aku pada satu
Peristiwa yang membuat hati lara
Di dekat engkau aku tenang
Sendu matamu penuh tanya
Misteri hidup akankah menghilang
Dan bahagia diakhir cerita
Cinta tegarkan hatiku
Tak mau sesuatu merenggut engkau
Naluriku berkata
Tak ingin terulang lagi
Kehilangan cinta hati
Bagai raga tak bernyawa
Aku junjung petuamu
Cintai dia yang mencintaiku
Hati yang dulu belayar
Kini telah menepi
Bukankah hidup kita
Akhirnya harus bahagia
Biar saja ada
Yang terjadi biar saja terjadi
Bagai manapun hidup
Memang hanya cerita
Cerita tentang meninggalkan dengan ditinggalkan

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Addicted blog reader and blogger..

Mula2 sampai office buka PC…tangan gatal nak baca blog orang…Lepas tu teringat kerja…lari pi lab settle experiment. Masuk office duduk…belum apa2 dok pi blog dulu..Baca blog 1 jam, buat kerja 20 minutes…lepas habis kerja sambung blog lagi 1 jam… hehehe…blog blog blog…banyak baca cerita orang daripada buat cerita sendiri…Lepas siap aje satu kerja…konon nye nak reward diri lah…pi baca blog lagiiiii.. ape nak jadi daaaaaa

Me with my addicted habit..

Sunday, September 25, 2005

Martians vs Venusians

How MARTIANS cope with stress:
  1. become focused and withdrawn
  2. feel better by solving problems
  3. lose temporary awareness of everything else
  4. do not burden others with their own problems
  5. retreat, go quiet and find solutions
  6. do somethong else to forget problems
  7. become distant, forgetful, unresponsive
  8. on solving the problem become attentive again

How VENUSIANS cope with stress:

  1. become overwhelmed and emotionally involved
  2. feel better by talking about problems
  3. continue talking about logically unrelated problems, worries, frustrations
  4. openly talk about their problems and feelings
  5. share feelings of being overwhelmed
  6. need loving friends
  7. become emotionally involved in other people's problems
  8. by talking and being heard, the stress disappears
  1. Listen without offering solutions
  2. Help solve problems without quick-fix attitude
  3. Feel trusted and appreciated
  1. Talk about their problems and feelings
  2. Accept without giving advice or criticism
  3. Have their feelings validated

by John Gray, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Brighter moment in a day

10:40 pm london time...back to home after having a long chat with office mate "A". I saw different you tonite. I am glad to see that. Thank you friend for giving me courage at the time when I need it...I target myself to get it done by Dec 1, 2005 as you suggested. I do not know what to do when you and others left...I have to be strong and carry on until finish..

Meeting "J's" mother outside office was great...warm hug from a loving mother although she talked something but I cud not understand Persian and she cud not understand English...but most important thing I can feel the mother's love inside her and the peaceful face that she has ..

Came back to office, just entered the house, my niece told me that she just called me at office bcoz the little one cannot sleep without me...ooooo..I knew that he miss me...I switched off the light and turned -on study light and placed myself next to him..I rubbed his eyebrow and asked him about his day today...Finally asked him whether he can sleep now and why he cannot sleep before I arrived home.. He said "it is because of you here than I feel more secure and brighter". I thot the light was on before and it must be very bright. He said " but I felt is was very dark before"....I then asked him if he miss me and he said yes...I felt very touch of his remark and I do not know what will happen a few months to come when he has to be separated from me for a must be very hard on him as well as for myself...but what choice do I have???????

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Homework blues...

I still don't understand if it is a typical problem with the boys in general when it come to homework...

In the pass this has become a big challenge for me to help out my boy with his homework...the reason being sometimes he did not accept ideas that was given to he was searching for better ideas and sometimes it cud be for 2 hours until he was happy with his idea...waiting for that long in front of him after giving him all my best suggestions/idea make me fall asleep....

Well the situation had improved for sometimes..he did not procrastinate doing his homework and he will try to do himself and left part that he really don't understand for me to help him....but last night was another challenge...after helping him out on math and he was left with one which he has to think what he want to do with it..while waiting for him to do his own thinking then i looked at his writing book...I spotted 2 missing e from repeatative of writing 4 series word "because". I pointed out to him and asked him to take a pencil and write word my surprised he refused it. He said it was difficult...and I could not understand his other reasons until he started to cry outloud said he did not want to continue all his work and want to leave it for tomorrow morning..Well I was kind of saying to him that he might not have enough time tomorrow morning..He kept on crying and run upstairs to bed...leaving me with heart attack with this homework blues thing...sigh...what did I do wrong?? talking to myself..

After 0.5 hrs I went to bed and was loooking at his face, thot that he was sleeping...then he smile at me..i kisses him all over his face...then we started to talk again...I told him that I had big headache. He massaged my head while saying to me that sometime he do feel kind of "sting" like a bee sting on his head especially when he thinks a lot. I'm kind off suggesting to him that we go and see doctor. He said he don't want it.. Then I make him to go to sleep by rubbing his eyebrow reminding him that this was what i normally did to him when he was little to make him go to sleep..

This morning, I was kind of waking-up late because I had strong headache last nite. Went down stairs and searching for him..He was in dining room. What are you doing there?..he told me that he is doing his homework...Deep in my heart I felt guilty about what happened last nite...
Then I kissed him saying I love him and and enjoy his school..

That is my little man...

Sometimes it is very hard for me to understand his character..Did discuss with his teacher at school. The teacher told me that he has a strong character, smart yet stubborn and not easily accepting others idea (has opinion of his own). He is very good at discussion bcoz he gives a lot of good ideas on different topic and very knowlegable..but don't like something repetitative and writing. He likes to draw something weird and different character like object with several hands/fingers with full of imagination which he was the only one who can understand..Play with dinasour all the time and really engrose with he is in his own world.. that is my little man..

If anyone out there do have boy with similar character, please share with me as sometimes I have a bit of difficulty to handle him..He is the only child in the family..

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Exhausted mind..

11:30 pm blogging while listening "back to bedlam-james blunt". Beautiful and very meaningful songs...(well at lest for me lahhh). Don't know what to write at this time..just follow my finger and my thot....I knew that my mind is very tired after staying late nite and morning to catch-up with my final project report plus called my mom...realising how much work had been done for 2 yr and a bit..sigh...

just got -off from phone talking to friends who are in the same boat as body said that it is an easy ride..

Previous posted song is so special..coz it remind me of someone...anyway...i have to let it is a feeling that just came together with peaceful cold breeze and slowly went away leaving me...

Friends of my dear... came & spend a nite at my hse last nite make me feel really good and has been quite sometimes since I talk a lot about the difference between me & my dear..and all the good memories that passed when we were very young..

Feel like to close my eyes for a while...not too sleepy but very tired brain..

Good nite...

Thursday, September 15, 2005

You're beautiful

"You're Beautiful" James Blunt
My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

I am back..

It is 21:37 now (London time) and in my office.

I am back again as promised and strong encouragement from my beloved friend "EM". Too much that I wish to write but feel very exhausted. Today is quite a hectic day for me as I have several meetings to attend and also running around in the lab preparing for my experiment. I had realised that I did not have lunch today..Then rushing to my son's school for the PTA meeting, came back to office to take measurement and here I am blogging...

Life has not been easy for me these days as I have to push myself to complete my work in this challenging subject..Never want to look back but to go throught it and get it one day. Being here for quite sometimes teach me a lot of things that I never ponder before. My friend forever "E" pointed out to me that having the title in front is a good feeling and worth the effort. But I mentioned to him that I was not looking for the title. But the most important impact for me is to be able to see things in different perspective and think probably 360 degree to make a wise decision not limited in career about also in life.. very philosophical indeed.. but that is the fact..

Anggerik Merah (AM)

I am anggerikmerah...I choose this because when I was 13 years old, I won a singing competition for this it is quite appropriate for me to select this name.

I am very new to this blogspot...only for the last few days...Thanks to my good and beloved friend "EM" who forwarded this site to me after realising that I had been writing so much to her expressing my state of mind almost everyday in the midth of dealing with my challenges in many situations. Only for the last few days I had been reading some of your life stories (to name a few..Makandeh, mobilemom, Kakteh, AuntyN, Aterah, Ailin, Nazrah etc..) which I found very interesting, motivating, very sad, funny and other mixed feeling to realise how life takes us through...Yes I became addicted to it but it takes a while for me to decide to have my own blog.. but there is a lot that i wish to share about me.

As I am still learning how to use this blog, please bare with me if you find that it does not come out addition I am not a good typist...always make mistakes in spelling...trying to be very quick in my english is i will use a lot of simple words. But what is important to me is that I want to share my experience, thoughts and whatever that come to my mind to the rest of the world and just being me..

I will be back....Au revoir.