Friday, December 29, 2006

Self treat

Still able to post another entry during this early morning while everyone is in the zzzzland..

It was a long overdue spa treatment (the last one was 6 months ago) which I had not get the opportunity. Indulge myself with 4 hours spa treatment (truely heavenly: arouse your sense with a blend of erotic recipe. Leaving you feeling passionate and desirable ??) at Jentayu spa in Damansara was a bliss. A good start and refreshing for body and mind to celebrate new year. I told messeaur (sp?) that my wish is to model Sheila Majid for body fitness & youth look...hehehe...This will be one of my new year resolution or personal agenda for 2007.

I-medic Pro Osim chair is a new collection of our family self treat. Hopefully, it will be a daily habit to make full use of it for us who don't see much day light during weekdays. A long distance travelling from house to office and chaotic life with traffic will add to stressful life.... So far the excitement of using Osim chair particularly for big man is still progressing well. 15 minutes just to sit and relax on it would not be much time demanding.

My lil man is glued to me most of the time. He still play hide and seek around the house just to get my attention. I love it. When ever I stay up late night to do work, he will join me giving reason that he is also experiencing something like jet lag. I make a joke asking him what kind of jet lag without being in the plane. He smiled and laughed. We have more time spend together especially when the big man is off to work and outstation.

After being apart from him for almost 6 months, our reunion really bring loads of smile and laugh everyday. The three of us really enjoy every moment when when we were together for brisk walk around housing area, watch movie, eat out, shopping and doing some other chores. At time the lil man will act as a friend to me whenever I need some opinion from him or vice versa in between the baby act. I like it when he comments the way I dress-up, driving etc etc. He can tell if I dress-up correctly for some occasion.

Precious time to be with family which I enjoy every moment of it...Part of my activity for a winter break...

May all of us have a prosperous new continue to be happy and healthy! Amin.

Thots of the day:
" Out of clutter, find simplicity. From discord, find harmony. In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity"
- Albert Einstein -

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Ku tanya hati...

Ku tanya hati
Ku tepuk dada sendiri
Manakah hala perjalanan ku ini?
Terasa sangsi masih ke belum mengerti
Adakah aku dilanda laluan pasti ?

Bertanyaku pada bayu yang menumpang jalan
Apakah berita yang suci dari sempadan ?
Berikan petunjuk hidayah dan pesanan
Bawakan doaku terus ke takhta pangkuan

Berbalas pandangan mataku dengan sang bulan
Bagaikan bicara mengharapkan pengertian
Moga disusun bintang yang berselerakan
Menjadi landasan laluan perjalanan

Ku tanya hati
Apakah bisa aku dikhianati
Dengan kata hati yang tidak pasti
Atau akukah yang tidak mengerti
Betapa berharganya hati yang suci

Indahnya hati pemberian Allah
Akan ku jaga biarpun payah
Akan ku hiasi dengan sifat mahmudah
Akan ku singkir sifat mazmumah

-Mata hati-
Petikan dari buku motivasi Ubat hati, Siti Nor Bahyah Mahamood
I am aware that my entry is full of songs and matters at heart. Nothing else. I guess this is the only avenue for me to write this kind of writing. Let it be…
Meeting two of my old friend last night. One of them (which I lost touch for more than 12 years) asked me to ponder the lyric of a song by Robbin William entitle "feel". According to this fren, it was a sudden impulsive thot somehow this song do associate with me and ask me too look at it. I thot it was weird. Some unanswered questions lingering in my mind but I don't dare asking more what triggered this song..I don't make any judgement, I don't rationalise but what I did was ... just smile and laugh for no particular reason...and I just let the thots transit and leave from my brain..
Came back home, I look up for the lyric of this song (which all this while I never bother to understand) and capture here...
Come on hold my hand
I wanna contact the living.
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given.
I sit and talk to god
And he just laughs at my plans,
My head speaks a language,
I don’t understand.
I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins,
going to waste.
I don’t wanna die,
But I ain’t keen on living either.
Before I fall in love,
I’m preparing to leave her.
I scare myself to death,
That’s why I keep on running.
Before I’ve arrived,
I can see myself coming.
I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in.
’cause I got too much life,
Running through my veins,
going to waste.
And I need to feel, real love
And a life ever after.
I cannot get enough.
I just wanna feel real love,
Feel the home that I live in,
I got too much love,
Running through my veins,
going to waste.
I just wanna feel real love,
In a life ever after
There’s a hole in my soul,
You can see it in my face,
it’s a real big place.
Come and hold my hand,
I wanna contact the living,
Not sure I understand,
This role I’ve been given
Not sure I understand.
Not sure I understand.
Not sure I understand.
Not sure I understand.

This might be the last entry for this year in case I might not get excess to internet for sometimes during this festive season.

Wishing everyone Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha and Happy New Year whereever you are.
Thot of the day:
"Success is not measured by what you accomplish but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds"
- Orison Marden, writer -
Loads of love from AM

Sunday, December 24, 2006

Memory lane... Belaian Jiwa

Sehari bersama dengan orang yang kita sayang walaupun susah, adalah lebih baik dari seumur hidup bersama dengan orang yang kita tak sayang” --- familiar script to those who watched malay film entitled CINTA.

A film with loads of lessons learn and a film to be proud of. Another reason/urge for me to watch this film (with my love one, yes....just the two of us) was because I came to know that the script writer was my relative. I only met her when she was a little girl. I don't think I will recognise her now if no one told me it is her. A month ago while reading a review article from newspaper abt this movie, it struck my mind after reading her name (together with her husband, Kabir Bahtia). A familiar name with only two person that I know of with the same name in our family circle. Now I know why my mind was wondering at that time.

Syabas Nik Samira! Proud of you and wish to see more of your future success. Never thot you have that talent & interest.

My heart was really touched watching this movie. In particular the scene between Harris-Airin-Alisa (a conflict of married couple with kid) and Dyan-Dhani (a love & sacrifice between sibling). I do not wish to say much about this movie as others did loads of review already. I tend to agree with everyone…the best movie of the year! Thumb up.

Another beautiful script…

Sering kita terlalai mengejar apa yang belum pasti
hingga kita terlupa
Meraikan satu-satunya
perkara yang menjanjikan kebahagiaan
CINTA (captured in my earlier entry)

This film also brought me back to my childhood with soundtrack of BELAIAN JIWA (A song which I sang last year at forum captured in this entry).
This song reminded me when I was 14 years old. A goodbye party to form 6 sisters leaving school for college. I was asked to sing this song that night. This left tears to everyone to share good memories. It felt good to reflect those memories again while watching this movie…

Seindah tiada lagi kau ku ingatkan
Sayang kau hilang
Menanti biar sampai akhir hayat ku di dunia ini
Kau tahu bertapa ku sayang padamu
Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti
Hanya takdir menentukan ia
Oh belaian jiwa
Oh angin, sampaikan lagu ku padanya
yang sedih pilu
Terimalah lagu ku jadi teman hidup mu
Untuk selamanya
Kau tahu bertapa ku sayang padamu
Hanya bidadari sebagai ganti
Hanya takdir
Menentukan ia
Oh belaian jiwa

Belaian Jiwa

Friday, December 22, 2006

Once upon a time

I left my flat on December 10, 2006 after staying there for almost 10 months. Pictures below taken on the last day to capture memories there.

My bed in master bedroom which is seldom used.

Sofa in the living room which is heavily used for sleeping during my stay at home.

Single bed in another room which I never used.

If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you,
And share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue
If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own,
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
Are impossible for me
I cannot build a mountain,
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there
- Kahlil Gibran

I left this flat with happy & sad begin a new life... to forgive & forget
A beautiful song from Samsons - Kenangan Terindah
aku yang lemah tanpamu
aku yang rentan karena
cinta yang hilang darimu
yang mampu menyanjungku

selama mata terbuka
sampai jantung tak berdetak
selama itu pun aku
mampu tuk mengenangmu

darimu….kutemukan hidupku
bagiku…..kaulah cinta sejati…

bila yang tertulis untukku
adalah yang terbaik untukmu
kan kujadikan kau kenangan
yang terindah dalam hidupku

namun takkan mudah bagiku
meninggalkan jejak hidupku
yang tlah terukir abadi
sebagai kenangan yang terindah
(note: the above lyrics is for the sake of enjoyment. Have nothing to do with anyone or anything)
Good-bye / sayonara / adios /au-revoir...
Thot of the day:
"It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters, in the end"
- Ursula K Le Guin, author -
Dec 22, 2006

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

A space to think

Is solitude something that we should actively seek or is it to be feared?

We’re so used to filling our days with people and distractions that we rarely consider the benefits and rewards of time spent alone.

(Caroline Roberts, Psychologies Magazine, January 2007)

Finding solitude,

1. Make time
Fitting alone-time into our lives can be a challenge.
Aiming for a short period everyday:
Even 5 minutes just staring out of the window can be restorative.
If possible, go for a walk or sit in the park.
A treatment such as massage can also provide an opportunity for reflection.

2. Clear your mind
Solitude can help us get in touch with our emotions, but to do this we have to tackle our racing minds.
Simple meditation techniques can help such as observing running water or visualizing a place that makes you feel calm.

3. Let go
It’s pointless spending your precious moments alone dwelling on things you can’t do anything about.
Acknowledge the presence of these thoughts, but try to let them pass through your mind without emotionally engaging with them.

4. Abandon your guilt
Don’ feel you have to spend every moment with your partner or family. Time alone can benefits relationships.
Negotiate with your partner to give each other breathing space.

5. Don’t force yourself
If you find that solitude makes you anxious or sad, there may be unresolved issues. Consider talking to a professional.

Solitude facilitates learning, thinking, innovation and the maintenance of contact with the inner world of the imagination.

(The above extracted from Psychologist Magazine, Jan 2007).

Yes, I had been reading this magazine every month during spare time or at a time when I need to divert my mind to something else other than my technical research. Also it serves as one of the ways to keep myself on positive thinking.

The above tips maybe so trivial to some of us, especially to myself. But sometimes we tend to forget when our mind in the state of irrational for whatever reason. I capture this to remind myself. Anytime anyday if I need a reminder, I can always come and read this entry.

This year is almost ended. I am still reflecting the past and also thinking about my future resolution. Not that only end of the year I does this but I always make it a point to ponder from time to time what had I accomplished for myself and others. To be honest, just recently I started to collect my future dream after being drown into the state of focusing only on specific goal in life.

I reflected those years that I had experience with solitude especially in the last several months. Flashing back many events and challenges I have to face, I focus my brain to keep the entire good one and put aside the bad, ugly on one corner of my brain.

To summarise, this is the life experience I had been through for the last several years.

1. Married woman with a complete family unit (a husband and a son)
2. Single parent with one son
3. Married and single life

These stages of life that I had been through teach me a lesson to appreciate others who have to live their life for certain category, to understand the challenge and how to adapt in different situation.

Many friends do questions me for having to go through these, but sometimes I left with no choice in hand. I have to decide what the best is at that particular time with HIS guidance. This life experience is priceless. I learn to know myself and to be myself and what is important in this life for me.

To my beloved fellow bloggers, wishing you:

Selamat hari raya Qurban & Happy New Year.

Dec 20, 2006.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


Last few nites I was really full of energy like I used to in the past. Hence, my brain is more effective for touching up my writing. Could be many reasons.

1. Ganoderma premix does make me alert and I am addicted to it…heheh (Dear Has, I think it work for me!).

2. My other half has been emotionally supporting me from distance. That make a big different as I need it to keep going. This process is affecting me emotionally. More than I thot I could handle. I almost lost the so called “Iron Lady” trait in me. I was given a trait mark “ Iron Lady” by some colleague within the company. Hehe…how “lembik” I felt offlate.

3. The thots of going back and to be with my beloved family drive me forward. Family members are so anxiously waiting for me to be back. I have to be ready for makan here and there and being pampered…

4. Fellows bloggers who never fail to inspire me. Even if I thot of not blogging but it has become part of me. I felt like I miss something if I didn’t meet my virtual fellow bloggers. Thanks for being there for me. Even if when I am alone, I felt as if I was surrounded by everyone around me.

5. Friends around me who always there to entertain my ups and down. Even the weather is depressing, I almost ignore it. In fact I enjoy walking in the rain.

6. The goal of finishing the remaining chapters for my supervisor to read during his holiday as he promise. I know that it may not be perfect and flawless. But I have to pass to him whatever I could do now. Emmm...I work better under pressure??

This morning, I met Sayed from Oman at prayer room during Fajr time. Sunrise at 8:30 am. We exchange our current experience of our struggle to finish. Both of us at the same time line. Good to talk about it.

I just came back from airport sending my supervisor back to his country for holiday since he needs a lift. We had a good talk and laugh about life in the car on the way to airport. Well, I am more of listening to him and affirm on some points which he brought up. I felt we had not had that kind of talk for a long time as he always busy with project work and had not much time to spare for the student.

Nevertheless, I tried to calm him down as he told me he always has panic attack everytime he needs to travel. The reason being he has to remember many things what to bring along and worried about leaving his house. One thing that strikes me this morning when I am in his office is that he asked me to confirm the direction of Kiblat. I am not sure why he asked me. I thot maybe he needs to say some prayers to reduce his panic attack of travelling. Whatever the reason is, may God be with him and protect him during his journey and holiday.

The fact that I am not very highly productive...I need a break from this place...

Well, I better get back to what I need to do now… then a break.!!!!

Dec 13, 2006

The brick!!!

My friend forwarded this message to me today...I paste it here for me to read and to share with you...

A young and successful executive was traveling down a neighborhood street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something. As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting, "What was that all about and who are you? Just what the heck are you doing? That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money. Why did you do it?" The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..." With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said "He rolled off the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."

Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too heavy for me." Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.

It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!" God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our choice to listen or not.

Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning Face it, friend - He is crazy about you!
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow,sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.

Read this line very slowly and let it sink in...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

YES, I love you too darling

Monday, December 11, 2006

Ignore me...

I was hurt.

It was painful.

And I want all of those hurt and pain to leave me forever.

This early morning, alone in the office, I can’t control my emotion.
Surge of emotion on things that I had gone through.
I can’t stop crying. I hate it whenever I can’t stop crying.

Switching my brain to be positive do help for awhile..then that emotion come back.
I wish I could just sleep and wake up to forget about that surge of emotion.
I tried to sleep but still I could not stop crying.
Finally I decided to write in my blog to let go of emotion.

10 months I was in that flat, time passed really quickly. Yesterday was the last day I was there and I spent the night to sleep in the bed for the last time. I had not been in my flat much offlate as the office is my first home. I work, sleep and eat. I have to consume premix coffee with Ganoderma extract everyday to keep alert and awake during this time (Has dear, thanks for supplying this to me!). As expected, gloomy weather, cool wind and rain plus shorter day light enhance the tendency to sleep and eat a lot more.

My landloard was the best ever landlord I had here. Similarly, his fiancee & he felt about me as the tenant. I owe them much for their hospitality, kindness and generousity. Generousity because they didn't even charge me for 10 days extra stay in the flat during this month. I almost shocked and asked them if they were sure about it. I told them, if I had to stay longer here, no other place I would wish to stay except this flat. A combination of lovely flat and landlord and also serenity of environment.

I said goodbye to 22 Dolphin Road. Loads of memories left which was a life lesson for me. Happy, sad, good & ugly memories which I treasured as part of my still learning and knowing myself better as a person while I was going through this process.

Part of life. It is always like a roller coaster. Sometimes we are downhill and sometimes we are uphill.

Life must go on...

As the day begin in a few hours, all this will be hiding behind my sweet smile even if with my red and swollen eyes.

"Allahuma inni a'uzubika minal hammi wal hazan"

maksud: Ya Allah lindungi lah aku dari menyesal perkara yang lepas dan merisaukan perkara yang akan datang.

December 11, 2006

Saturday, December 09, 2006


My Russian officemate will tie knot next week at the age of 22. He is more like my little brother in this office. We do have some common interest talking about purpose of life and what is important in life. He continued to work on some of my effort on the project which I initiated as part of my PhD and also deliverable to project sponsors.

Knowing that he decided to get married very young, all of us asked him a trivial question..." Are you sure? ". Well, he seems not having a second thots about it. I notice that he is more alive and happier after his girl friend joined him here in the last several months. For obvious reason, love & passion exert loads of energy and life in his heart.

Before he left to Russia yesterday, I told him to give me a big hug. The reason being, the next time I see him, he will be a married man already.

So, he honoured my request. He gave me a big hug to his little sister and he hold me up the same time he was saying to me "you are very light". All of us in the office broke into a big laugh with his comment. Suddently he put me down and hold me up for the second time...hahaha...all of us in the office kept on laughing. The happy mood surrounded the office environment.

We are happy for the choice he made in his life. We wish him and his beautiful bride all the best and be the happiest and loving couple forever.

Congratulation to Ivan and Marina.

Both of you meant to be together.

Congratulation to my dear beloved fren "A" for successful thesis defence with very minor correction on Dec 5 and another beloved fren "I" on Dec 6 with no correction. Being part of providing some moral support to both of you before your defence and the joyful feeling upon completion really inspired me. It reinforce my dream, imagination and wish to go through that stage.

Dec 9, 2006 4:20

Monday, December 04, 2006


Thanks so much my Love...

It is lovely card and I love it so much...

I always LOVE you and MISS you much...

View from bedroom window during rainy day...

Dec 4, 2006 20:02

Friday, November 17, 2006

A lesson in life

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small tests, if they be events, illnesses or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.

If someone hurts you, betrays you , or breaks you heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make every day count. Appreciate every moment and take from it everything that you possibly can, for you may never be able to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish.
Create your own life and then go out and live it.



Soon my internet service at my flat will be disconnected. I will not be able to have any entry or blogging for a while.

Thank you for your wishes, support and prayer. Only Allah will be able to pay you back.

Will meet again. Insyaallah.

Good bye for now.

Keep smiling, laughing and loving..:-)

Anggerik Merah
Nov 19, 2006
5:15 pm

Thursday, November 16, 2006

This I promise you

My love, here I stand before you
I am yours now
From this moment on
Take my hand
Only you can stop me shaking
We'll share forever
This I promise you

And when I look in your eyes
All of my life feels before me
And I'm not running anymore
Cause I already know I'm home
With every beat of my heart
I give you my love completely
My darling, this I promise you

My love, I can feel your heartbeat
As we dance now
Closer than before
Don't let go
Don't let go
Cause I can almost cry now
This is forever
I make this vow to you

And when I look in your eyes
All of my life feels before me
And I'm not running anymore
Cause I already know I'm home
With every beat of my heart
I give you my love completely
My darling, this I promise you
My darling, this I promise you
This I promise you, oh I promise you, promise you
This I promise you

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Life on the train

To all my beloved blogger frens who left comment in previous entry...thanks so much from the bottom of my heart. I have no clue how to reply. Please forgive me and love ya all....

Those who came without a trace...also my sincere appreciation.

I decided to republish earlier entry (Dec 5, 2005) since I found it theraupetic for me at this point of time.

Enjoy it.

My beloved friend sent this to me this morning. My special thanks to the original author (whoever he or she was..).

I dedicated this to all passengers at sentraalstation (especially to Kak Teh, the station master) and all those in the blogging world..with love from Anggerik Merah…

A while back, I read a very interesting book that compared life to a train ride or a series of train rides.

Life is like a train ride, it read
We get on
We ride
We get off

We get back on and ride some more
There are accidents and there are delays
At certain stops there are surprises
Some of these will translate into great moments of joy
Some will result in profound sorrow

When we are born and we first board the train
We met people whom we think will be with us for the entire journey
Those people are our parents!

Sadly, this is far from the truth
Our parents are with us for as long as we absolutely need them
They too have journeys they must complete
We live on with the memories of their love, affection, friendship, guidance and their ever presence

These are others who board the train and who eventually become very important to us, in turn
These people are our brothers, sisters, friends and acquaintance, whom we will learn to love and cherish

Some people consider their journey like a jaunty tour
They will just go merrily along

Others will encounter many upsets, tears, losses on their journey
Others still, will linger on the offer a helping hand to anyone in need

Some people on the train will leave an everlasting impression when they get off
Some will get on and get off the train so quickly, they will scarcely leave a sign that they ever travelled along with you or even crossed your path

We will sometimes be upset that some passengers whom we love, will choose to sit in another compartment and leave us to travel on our own
Then again, there’s nothing that says we can’t seek them out anyway

Nevertheless, once sought out and found, we may not even be able to sit next to them because that seat will already be taken

That’s okay…everyone’s journey will be filled with hope, dreams, challenges, setbacks and goodbyes
We must strive to make the best of it….no matter what

We must constantly strive to understand our travel companions and look for the best in everyone
Remember that at any moment during our journey, any one of our travel companions can have a weak moment and be in need of our help

We too may vacillate or hesitate, even trip…hopefully we can count on someone being there to be supportive and understanding….

The bigger mystery of our journey is that we don’t know when our last stop will come
Neither do we know when our travel companions will make their last stop
Not even those sitting in the seat next to us

Personally, I know I’ll be sad to make my final stop…I’m sure of it!
My separation from all those friends and acquaintances I made during the train ride will be painful
Leaving all those I’m close to will be a sad thing.

But then again, I’m certain that one day I’ll get to the main station only to meet up with everyone else.
They’ll all be carrying their baggage…most of which they didn’t have when they first got on this train

I’ll be glad to see them again
I’ll also be glad to have contributed to their baggage…and to have enriched their lines, just as much as they will have contributed to my baggage and enriched my life

We’re all on this train ride together.
Above all, we should all try to strive to make the ride as pleasant and memorable as we can, right up until we each make the final stop and leave the train for the last time.

All aboard! Safe journey!!


Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Little girl

I could not find appropriate i call it LITTLE GIRL

& my break from posting entry last for one week.

Last Sunday I was with my ex-boss (and I still call him “Boss” until now) whom was a backbone of my career development within the company. I reported to him the first day I joined the company and had been his subordinate for nearly 10 years. Being a person he is, he was not only ex-boss to many of us but he remains as a friend and family friend even after his retirement from the company. Now, he pursued his career as an academician after retirement.

Even with his new post as academician he is still a person who never fails to support development and career opportunity for his subordinate or whoever needs advice from him. I am sure many bosses similar to him out there. It is just a matter of how fortunate we are to have opportunity to work with such person who could see our potential and natural talent to groom us appropriately to reach to maximum potential.

Sometimes, we have to mould our self to a company requirement as changes are expected with time. Some people decided to leave the company and do something which close to their heart. Some would take challenge of new opportunity and roles within the company. I am the one who take challenge on new opportunity within the company and I would consider myself loyal to the company I work with.

Coming back to my ex-boss, he used to call me “little girl” when I was his subordinate…hehehe…But beyond that I am matured enough through years to be called “little woman”.. So we could talk and make jokes openly without me blushing. It is enough to create smile and laugh…

The last time we met was 2 years ago when he came here with his wife and stayed a month with my family. We had great time and we really enjoyed their accompany. His wife cooked for lunch and dinner while my niece who was staying with me had opportunity to learn mouth watering cooking form her. I didn’t have opportunity because at that time as I was submerged myself most of the time in the lab. I only came back home to eat already prepared food and sleep when needed.

A kind of fatherly hug I received from him on Sunday..really bring a warm feeling of someone who cares and look after me. For the last two nights several of us had dinner gathering with him, my other high level ex-boss and another Doc (three of them travel together). They were here for business trip and also meeting students from their university. Loads of encouragement, advice and wisdom words from them to reflect our purpose, responsibilities, sacrifices and hopes being here.

To me and others too, it really injects loads of energy to strive and accomplish our mission here despite of many challenges. Loads I came to know about new development within the company and opportunity where I can have a choice to fit into the organisation when I am back. I told them I am really looking forward to be back and I feel that I need to get away from this environment. It is a mix of positive and negative vibes from what I had said to them. Well, I speak my mind out..whatever I think.

Just a couple hours ago, another pat in the back I received from my ex-boss before he left. Also a good-bye and loads of encouragement from the other two gentlemen. I almost broke my tears but I hide with a smile when they said to me.."we will doa a lot for you, you also must doa a lot". I left with saying “thank you”. They asked me when I am planning to be back…and I told them again today as I mentioned to them last two days. I had a small laugh when they said "do come back to join us"…I said “Insyaallah”.

I guess I am really need to boost up my energy and to be stimulated. In some instant I feel as if I am still a little girl… am I?

Nov 7, 2006 13:39

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

You will think of me..


I woke up early this morning around 4am
With the moon shining bright as headlights on the interstate
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to catch some sleep
But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake

Ever since you found yourself in someone else's arms
I've been tryin' my best to get along
But that's OK
There's nothing left to say, but

Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me

I went out driving trying to clear my head
I tried to sweep out all the ruins that my emotions left
I guess I'm feeling just a little tired of this
And all the baggage that seems to still exist
It seems the only blessing
I have left to my name
Is not knowing what we could have been
What we should have been

So Take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and take your reasons
But you'll think of me take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

Someday I'm gonna run across your mind
Don't worry, I'll be fine I'm gonna be alright
While you're sleeping with your pride
Wishing I could hold you tight I'll be over you
And on with my life

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need'em take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we have nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me

So take your records, take your freedom
Take your memories I don't need 'em
Take your space and all your reasons
But you'll think of me

And take your cat and leave my sweater
'Cause we got nothing left to weather
In fact I'll feel a whole lot better
But you'll think of me, you'll think of me, yeah
And you're gonna think of me
Oh someday baby, someday

Note: Thanks to all for leaving your comment on my previous entry of "Memory Aidilfitri". I need to take a break again from many things. Enjoy the song.

Wish everyone a wonderful life ahead.

Oct. 31, 2006, 17:50

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Memory Aidilfitri

Celine Dion A New Day Has Come

Being away from beloved family during Aidilfitri is really sad. But have been there many times in the past the experience teaches me to make a choice between to:

enjoy every moment of celebration


allow myself to be drowning in emotional crisis, melancholic feeling

This year, my promise to myself is to enjoy every moment of it. My last Aidilfitri here, alone and away from the loved one.

We (my family friends and I) really had an enjoyable Aidilfitri. After Solat in the morning, we visited most friends in town. Believe it or not..a total of 10 houses we visited from morning until night. Walking around in group with colourful outfit really attract other's attention on the street. The bonding that we have with each other is so very close because of limited circle of community. This make the celebration more meaningful. That is also the beauty of Aidilfitri celebration away from our own country and beloved family.

Deep in my heart, I am not pretending that my mind is not thinking about what my beloved one (especially my lil man) are doing at every single moment. But everytime that thots came to my mind, I showered my face with smile and wonderful feeling to know that they are close to my heart. I kept the feeling in my heart and mind whenever I called back home. It was a countless number of calls. Those calls also transmit an enjoyable moment of celebration for my beloved one from a distance.

In short, all of us enjoy every moment of celebration, our memorable Aidilfitri this year.

I am sure you have a memorable one also waiting to be shared.

Have a wonderful day!

Wednesday, October 25, 2006


Christina Aguilera - Hurt

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous

It's so out of line
To try and turn back time
I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Monday, October 23, 2006

Dari Jauh Ku Pohon Maaf

To those who are not able to be back for Raya with enjoy every moment of it no matter where ever you are.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Selamat hari raya & maaf zahir batin untuk semua (PETRONAS video clip)

(Refection from the above two video clips: betapa murninya nilai keikhlasan kasih sayang biar apapun taraf kehidupan di dunia ini)

Ramadhan (terlalu cepat berlalu) akan meninggalkan kita dalam beberapa hari lagi. Semuga kita diberi peluang untuk bersamanya lagi di tahun hadapan.

Syawal pula akan menjelma dan akan disambut dengan kegembiraan. Bermaaf-maafan, kunjung mengunjung..mengiratkan sirratulrahim sesama kita.

(Masing-masing dah dok plan balik kampung, tutup kedai kueh, pasang langsir baru dan macam-macam lagi.)

Begitulah ianya silih berganti tahun demi tahun.

Untuk semua, diucapkan SELAMAT HARI RAYA walau dimana anda berada. Semuga ianya memberi kegembiraan disamping keluarga and rakan taulan yang disayangi.

Kalau ada salah dan silap jangan disimpan didalam hati. POHON AMPUN & MAAF SEIKLAS HATI.

Yang nak balik kampung jauh ataupun dekat...BERHATI-HATI DIJALAN RAYA.
Yang pakai pilot...semuga anda sentiasa tersenyum dalam penerbangan...menanti detik pertemuan dengan yang tersayang.
Yang tak dapat balik beraya bersama keluarga kali ini, jangan sedih-sedih sangat..Kawan rakan kan ramai...

Semuga persahabatan yang murni terus berkekalan. Panjang umur kita jumpa lagi...

Keep smiling, laughing and loving...

Salam sayang dari
Anggerik merah
Oct 16, 2006

pssstt...dah tua - tua boleh dapat duit raya lagi ka?..:-). Errr..baju raya tak kesah sebab boleh recycle lagi. Yang lama pun masih nampak baru..sebab pakai setahun 2 kali saja:-)

Friday, October 13, 2006

TO MY FRIENDS...& happenings

Love is like a butterfly
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you just let it fly, it will come to you when you least expected it.

Love can make you happy but often its hurt,
but love is only special when you give it to someone who is really worth it.

So take your time and choose the best.

Love isn’t about becoming somebody else’s “perfect person”.

It’s about finding someone who helps you become the best person you can be.

The true measure of compatibility is not the years spent together
But how good you are for each other

Love is not about “it’s your fault”, but “I’m sorry
Not “where you are”, but “I’m right here for you
Not “how could you”, but “I understand
Not “I wish you were”, but “I’m thankful you are

Heartbreaks last as long as you want
And cut as deep as you allow them to go
The challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks
But to learn from them

How to be in love:
Be consistent but not too persistent
Share and never be unfair
Understand and try not to demand
And get hurt but never keep the anger

It breaks your heart to see the one you love
Happy with someone else
But it’s more painful to know that the one you love
Is unhappy with you

Love hurts when you break up with someone.
It hurts even more when someone breaks up with you

But love hurts the most
When the person you love has no idea how you feel about him/her

A sad thing about life if when you meet someone and fall in love,
only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be,
and that you have wasted years on someone who wasn’t worth it.

If that person doesn’t worth it now, it’s not going to be worth it a year or 10 years from now.

My wish for you is man/women whose love is:

Honest, strong, mature, never changing,
protective, encouraging, rewarding and unselfish


Thanks to my beloved friend, Zelda, for sending me the above.

The happenings:

The weather has been so pleasant today with sunshine. A break from normal days with drizzle and gloomy weather. I love walking around campus just to meet people and breathe fresh air. Mingle with undergrad adik2 and friends from other school is more motivating rather than unproductively sitting in front of my PC in the office during day time. This is so much so during this Ramadhan period to talk about iftar and the plan for Eid celebration, a common looking forward to do rather than smelling coffee and food in my office. Not that I could not stand the aroma...but it make me want to sleep more...

Moreover, there is no peace of mind at all in this small office space during day time which accommodates four of us as people talking, phone ringing, the door opening/closing and everyone is stressful in their own way. The last thing to do is to be in a stressful environment when our mind is already stressful. It is better to avoid if possible rather than to let the mind and body dip into this environment. Visiting and feeding ducks in the campus pond is bliss. I do pass through the pond and have a short stay watching the ducks, swan, goose and birds (I never realise all this while how pleasant it is to have this activity as part of balancing my stressful life!).

I had reached to the limit of productivity (i.e. I am being unproductive) in my living room of my flat. Too much sleep, too frequent calling home, too lonely...too much....etc etc. I had enough of, I would consider, pampering myself for quite a while to get over from my abnormal cycle of body clock which had caused me some unpleasant & quite serious health condition earlier. Make me realise something that I used to do before may not anymore appropriate for me. Obviously, I need some adjustment here and there. But now, it is a must to shift back to my nite routine stay in my office considering I want to expediate my finishing line. Well, obviously my face will look stone and serious again…but this is what I need to get my brain to strive really hard again & maximise its capacity to reach the goal.

Tonite, I met my Turkish fren. We chat abt happenings. It was good to know that she already started working in London last 2 weeks. Her tired face really shows as if she has lost her zest. She told me that she had been under stressful condition especially a few days before her examination last two days. It is so normal and the say: no pain no gain. That is what it takes to move on to finishing line…

To stay determine, loads of courage and finally to FINISH is all matters most.

This early morning as i drove back home, I can see a clear sky, shining of half moon and glittering stars. I stood outside of my flat for a while just to look at the sky...Something abt this early morning which generate a calm atmosphere.. (Gee...I am lost of word to describe it..Anywayyyyy...that is the feeling)....

Oct 13, 2006 4:00 am

Monday, October 09, 2006

Moment of reflection...

Last two days, my mind was brought back to my late grandma. What triggered it?

A moment of reflecting my childhood after Tarawikh prayer at school’s prayer room. I was alone in the woman section. I was early that nite thinking that they will start earlier since the Isyak prayer time has shifted to be earlier. I spent the time to recite several pages of verses while waiting for prayer time. I guess when I am all alone my mind can go thinking and remembering whatever the mind wish until I snap back to present time.

My thought that nite was my late grandmother. She was the one who guided me a lot in spiritual believe. Still remember when I was a little girl even before starting school; she brought me to mosque for tarawikh prayer, Aidil Fitr and Aidil Adha’s prayer with her. Being a little girl, I don’t really understand all of this. What I knew was just to follow what my grandma said and did. Whenever I was tired of following, I just went running around the mosques to kill time with other friends, like a normal kids. Suffice to say that it provide some kind of inner believe which instill inside me.

When I grew up, I always curious about many things and I was always gone against what I was not supposed to do based on religious believe. Finding my own path probably the closest I could describe. Having said that, everytime there was tendency to do too much beyond what was forbidden, it was always an inner voice inside me which stopped it. With my inquisitive mind, I do wonder and I do questions about it. What is it really that hold me back?

No matter what, it was always reflecting to my childhood life, the way I was brought up within family which strictly observed religious believes, even as I grow up, I have to admit, I don’t consider myself so serious follower. But...I am finding my true path..let it be a baby step and keep on progressing little by little...

My point is that, most often than not, the way we brought up does influence our behavior and action.

To my dearest late grandma aka TOK…my soul is with you.. Even we are in two different world, I always ask for your dua for me to be strong to go through all the hardship in my life.

Thank you for showing me all that. And I am missing you much. My prayer is always for your peaceful soul in the other world. AMIN.

Previous entry about "MENGINGATI YANG TIADA".

Monday Oct 9, 2006.

Saturday, September 30, 2006


Edinburgh castle and town - view from rooftop of Royal Museum of Scotland, Edinburgh.

"Taking responsibility provides a sense of control - a sense that we are in charge of our own destiny"

Monday, September 25, 2006

Oldies Collections...& wee update

10 Golden Rules by Dr Nordin Darus
Temporarily signing off,
Anggerik Merah
Wee update (sept 28, 2006)
Came back from Terawih prayer at prayer's room in campus last nite. Feel so serene walking through a quiet nite with drizzle in between car park to the doorstep of the room. It was a good break from my four wall of flat.
Was in front of my PC. Had a short chat with a close fren abt happenings. Toward the end of chatting (which quite an interesting one... make me want to go on to understand more what it is all I could have many interpretations to a puzzle post to me...)...I was disturbed by my mobile. My mind was divided into two thots at the same time, with writing and speaking. We ended the chat with salam while I was still talking to another fren abt his bad news.
The call was from an Indian fren migrated to Calgary. He was my ex-project consultant some years back. A father figure (50+) and down to earth person. He always called me at least every forthnight to track on my progress and provide loads of support on emotional ups & down wrt this process. I felt as if I am a child to him. Sometimes I felt embarrass to myself if I didn't make much progress as it should be. I have to admit at time whenever I was terribly down with homesick..I drove myself crazy until I calm down and be rational in my thinking. That is quite normal as a human being.
He called to let me know that his mother passed away and he will be travelling back to India tomorrow via London. My deepest condolence to him and his family. May his mother rest in peace. So nice of him to call to let me know the bad news. That is what fren is all about no matter where we are...we share both happy and sad moments in life..that keeps our friendship stronger...
It must be very hard to be away from family at time like this and not have the opportunity to be at mom's bedside before she left the world. But that is life and the choice that we make...We have to accept all consequences that comes along the way...
Deep in my heart, I always pray to HIM to let me be there if I ever have to face similar situation.
Life goes on...

Friday, September 22, 2006

Salam Ramadhan & A Love Like No Other

Beautiful song from Zubir Ali...siapa tak pernah menangis.

Untuk semua rakan bloggers, Anggerik Merah ingin mengucapkan Ramadhan Al Mubarak.

Semuga kedatangannya memberi kedamaian & ketenangan dijiwa kita semua.
Semuga segala amalan kita diberkati olehNya.
Semuga kita sentiasa diberi pertunjuknya dan dilindungi oleh Nya walau dimana pun kita berada dimuka bumi ini.
Semuga kita semua diberi kejayaan dunia dan akhirat.
Semuga kita diberi keberkatan disepanjang bulan yang mulia ini.

Anggerik Merah ingin menyusun jari sepuluh memohon kemaafan seandainya yang tertulis, tersalah bicara, terkasar bahasa secara tidak disedari menyakiti hati sesiapa dialam cyber ini maupun dialam realiti. Sesungguhnya yang cacat cela itu adalah kelemahan diriku sendiri. Yang terbaik adalah dariNya jua.

Rakan-rakan yang dikasihi semua, izinkan Anggerik merah mengundur diri buat seketika waktu. Insyaallah, sekiranya dipanjangkan umur dapatlah kita bertemu lagi dialam cyber atau di alam realiti.

Ceria-ceria selalu...

.....and this lovely poem is dedicated to all of u out there...

A Love Like No Other

I never felt a love

Like this before

It's a love like no other

Something I have always hoped for

A love with friendship

Humour and heart

A bond so strong

It would never part

A love that makes you smile

From ear to ear

A love that is joyful

Without any fear

A love that is beautiful

From the inside out

A love with no tears, Pain, or doubt

A love with soul

So tender and true

A love that I have found

Only in and all of you

- Author Unknown -

Keep smiling, laughing...& loving..:-) :-) :-) :-)

Anggerik Merah

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

By the window...

What life can compare to this?
Sitting quietly by the window,
I watch the leaves fall
and the flowers bloom,
as the seasons come and go

HSUEH-TOU (982 - 1052)

Moment to express...

To my dearest family & friends,

behind smile & laugh, no single word to describe how much I miss those whom I love and those who love me.

Sept 20, 2006 11:30 pm

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Westlife - Flying Without Wings

Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be

Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

Some find it sharing every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of others
A simple line can make you laugh or cry

You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings

So, impossible as they may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know which one you let go
Would have made you complete

Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place

It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings

And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

You'll Be In My Heart

It has been a year since I first started my blog.

Very memorable and interesting journey for me in this world of blogsphere. Now is the time to pause, reflect and refresh.

Many wonderful people I know out there sharing their life stories, scribbles, jokes, poem and view on many issues. I am glad to be one of them to share mine. Most are about my life journey...

Most importantly, with some (in both real and virtual world) I had become closer as friends/buddy to share more of life journey, to support each other during happy and sad moments simply because we need each other.

We learn
We re-learn
We smile
We laugh
We cry
We hug
We wink
We flirt
We kiss
Tarzan You'll Be In My Heart (english)
Tarzan - You'll Be In My Heart (Malay)
Tarzan - You'll Be In My Heart (Arabic)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Fantasy Island

Cherish - Kool & the Gang

Dedicated to all my beloved friends. Enjoy the song.
Let water flow from head to toe while my fingers caress my hair and my body in the shower ...what a bliss! Thought, imagination and nostalgic moments come to mind with free flow as free as the flowing water. So pleasant to see drops of water dripping everywhere...

This morning my mind was brought back to a decade ago in Salt Spring Island of British Columbia. I was there for commissioning a piece of device we designed together with a consultant, Phillip. Phillip own a small company for fabrication of specialize device. The idea mooted after unavailability off the shelf device to suit our application.

Salt Spring is a small beautiful island in between Vancouver and Victoria. Salt Spring, the largest of the Gulf Islands, described as home to indisputably eccentric, laid back, offbeat, and most importantly, friendly people. The island is well known throughout Canada as being an artist sanctuary. Goggled for latest info, I realized so much change on this used to be “undisturbed/virgin” island.

To get there, either by ferry from Vancouver/Victoria or by seaplane. Seaplane is the fastest means getting there. Yes, imagine Oldies Fantasy Island …the plane! ...the plane!..the plane! Together with my technician, we took the seaplane from Vancouver. Ahh…what an experience. My wild imagination was on the Fantasy Island Story during plane ride..Some collections of old photos in Salt Spring and Victoria.

We stayed in a small motel run by a local. He is a retired geologist. Upon retirement the owner managed a double storey motel as a business for living. A good retirement plan indeed!. The motel is fully equipped with kitchen facilities in each room. It is more like a studio apartment. At that time there was not much choice of places to eat out within the island. It is really a conservative place, slow development with a very small town just sufficient to provide the locals basic needs.

Several times Phillip brought us to his home to be with his family. A very lovely wife and 2 kids, a boy and a girl. These two kids must have grown up by now. Unfortunately I have lost touch with this family for many years. Several years ago I was told that this family had moved back to mainland, most likely Calgary.

It was interesting enough to know and to meet several retired professional from our industry residing in this beautiful and quiet island. They build their house facing a beautiful bay. So.. so.. serene. One of the retiree, very old and wonderful man and a neighbor to Phillip, brought us to his beautiful and huge home for dinner and also for a boat ride along the island. The unforgettable moment was when he offered me to maneuver his boat and he took my pictures. So nice of him. I have lost touch with him and his lovely wife. I don’t know if they are still alive.

Phillip brought us to a huge inorganic farm owned by professional farmer. That was the first time I was introduced to inorganic vegetables. Those days inorganic plant was not known to many people and hardly found in the supermarket. This riggered my interest to try hydrophonic gardening at home for several types of vegetables and also a planting my own vegetables within my wee compound. It was so enjoyable to see the plant growing! However the hydrophonic vege is a bit of tasteless..

I was brought back to Salt Spring Island again together with my two other colleague the following year. Another idea was mooted when Phillip and I had a coffee break during my first visit there. While sipping hot chocholate, we visualised and did some preliminary scatch. We brought the idea to reality.

Point to ponder is that the idea only comes when we are not forcing to think hard about it…but while doing something showering, sipping hot chocholate…or even dreaming… or…. or….. or….(maybe more can be added here…)

Opppsss..I better get dress ...the towel is already dried by now....:-))

Sept 6, 2006

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Enjoy life to the fullest

Sticking my butt on the chair far too long really make me feel that I need to get out from my flat.

I went for a walk around village today to inhale fresh air in a bright sunshine but chill wind. It helps to clear up my crowded brain.

While walking along the main road, I heard a car horn. The driver and passengers were waving at me. So I waved them back. Was not sure for what. I guess just for fun.

I came back and decided to write something that come into my thots...

Last week I had a walk. I was tempted to go through a narrow path in the jungle which is a jungle track behind nearby high school. Ohhh...that reminds me how much I miss jungle tracking & other rough activities.

I went half way and saw three high school boys in that jungle. I couldn't clearly see what they were doing. I changed my mind and turned back. Several incidents in the jungle with rappist and killing had make me think twice to go thru jungle track alone. I wasn't very brave to walk alone in such place.

I miss my lil man very much. Fair enough, I called him at least once every other day if not everyday. Normally I asked him any story he wants to tell me. If there was no story then he would suggest to me to create imaginary story..about anything... just to have fun and laugh.

Enjoy life was a theme for my lil man and also his other best friends.

For lil man, drawing some weird characters which I could not understand was something he enjoyed doing, even in the train to London. These characters were his imaginary characters with several fingers like octapus and weird shape as well. Just wonder when will he stop imagining such undefined characters.

Played hide and seek in the back yard was his must do activity every time we were going out somewhere.
And slumber party, in this case, a chocholate slumber party was fun activity with friends. The three boys had their huge chocholate coin each. They had a good time, giggled, laughed all night long until they falled a sleep.

What a fun things kids choose to do to enjoy life...

Sept 4, 2006

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Siapa Tak Pernah Menangis

Another lyric from Zubir's album. A very lovely song I wish to capture here.

With no particular reason, maybe my reflection of life...


Siapa yang tak pernah menangis
Dihujung setiap ketawa dan lupa

Siapakah diantara kita
Yang memalingkan muka
Ketika mendengar kalimah Tuhan?

Banyak bakti yang dapat diberi
Sepanjang hidup yang sesingkat ini
Lautan manusia berombakkan nafsu
Kebenaran terdampar di pantai kecewa

Airmata seperti mutiara
Apakah itu rasa keinsafan
Rintihan dari hati yang rindu
Apakah itu hakikat cintamu

Lagu: Zubir Ali
Lirik: Nazri

Friday, September 01, 2006

Pesanan Orang Tua

I receive a forwarded email from a friend today. I wish to post it here for me to read. And also to share with others who wish to read... semuga memberi menafaat untuk kita bersama..

Will be back with my own entry later when I am physically fit*. Till then....

* due to hormone imbalance which driving me nuts & melancholic!



I feel its good to relay to everyone kisah benar yang saya lalui.
Baru - baru ni ketika saya nak ke Surau berdekatan dgn rumah saya untuk sembahyang Isyak, seorang pak cik berjanggut putih dan berjubah putih dari jauh melemparkan senyum kepada saya. Kerana masih ada banyak waktu, saya tunggu pak cik berjanggut putih tu dan bertongkat yang tidak saya kenali itu. Timbul di hati saya untuk jalan seiringan ke surau.

Bila beliau hampir pada saya, kami saling memberi salam. Orangnya sudah berumur. Tiba-tiba, pak cik itu memulakan perbualan. Beliau cakap dalam bahasa Melayu dan Inggeris ( speaking landong lagi) yang agak baik. Beliau cakap semua ayat Quran baik dan penting, tapi ada tiga surah yang beliau 'pegang' betul-betul, dan beliau nasihatkan saya supaya pegang betul-betul juga. Beliau juga nasihatkan saya supaya pesan pada anak-anak supaya pegangnya betul-betul.

Pertama, kata beliau, surah Al-Fatihah. Selain penting untuk sah sembahyang, ia juga ada doa minta bantuan Tuhan dan mintak tunjukkan jalan yang betul. Mudah-mudahan dengan 'menjaga' bersungguh-sungguh surah Al-Fatihah, akan terbuka pintu bantuan dan jalan yang betul untuk kita, kata pakcik.

Kedua, Surah Al-Ikhlas. Surah ini, katanya, surah tauhid. Kita mesti ingat Tuhan itu Esa dan semua amalan mesti untuknya. Tak guna buat baik tapi tak ikhlas.

Ketiga, surah Al-Kafirun, kata pak cik. Bahagian ini, menarik sikit. Pak cik tu cakap surah Al-Kafirun ada kena mengena dengan zaman sekarang, zaman globalisasi. Dalam zaman globalisasi, katanya,anak-anak saya mesti diajar supaya pegang betul-betul surah itu. Sebab, dalam zaman globalisasi, anak saya mungkin kena kerja atau belajar sampai ke Amerika atau ke mana-mana. Kalau dia pegang pada surah Al-Kafirun, insya-Allah, dia akan selamat, kata pakcik. Dia akan bergaul dengan orang beragama lain, tapi dia sedar'untukmu agamamu, untukku agamaku'.

Betul juga, fikir saya. Kemudian, pak cik cakap ada satu lagi perkara yang saya mesti pegang. Orang Islam, katanya, mesti ada tiga kekuatan.

Pertama, kekuatan minda.
Minda, kata pak cik, ialah ilmu. Orang Islam mesti ada ilmu,termasuk ilmu moden, ilmu teknologi, ilmu teknologi maklumat (IT) dan sebagainya kerana ilmu-ilmu itu perlu untuk hidup.

Kedua, kekuatan hati.
Hati ialah iman, kata pak cik. Hati orang Islam mesti kuat supaya betapa banyak sekali pun ilmunya, dia sedar siapa yang lebih berkuasa. Bila ilmu ada iman, barulah ilmu dan hidup jadi betul. Kalau minda kuat tapi hati tak kuat, maknanya kekuatan tak seimbang dan ilmu boleh rosakkan iman, kata pak cik.

Ketiga, kuat fizikal.
Pertama-pertama, kalau tubuh badan lemah, susah ilmu nak masuk dalam minda, kata pak cik. Kalau pun ada ilmu dan ada iman, jika tubuh badan tak kuat, susah nak beramal. Maknanya, kekuatan masih tak seimbang, katanya.

Habis saja pak cik cakap pasal tiga surah dan tiga kekuatan, beliau minta diri dan hilang dari pandangan saya setiba nya di surau tersebut.

Terima kasih kepada pak cik berjanggut tu. Sebelum itu beliau berpesan agar saya sebarkan kepada yang lain. Pesanannya memang baik untuk saya sampaikan. Terpulang kepada anda untuk menerima nya atau tidak.

Segala yang baik adalah ilham dari Allah dan segala yang buruk itu datang dari kelemahan setiap insan.