Monday, October 09, 2006

Moment of reflection...

Last two days, my mind was brought back to my late grandma. What triggered it?

A moment of reflecting my childhood after Tarawikh prayer at school’s prayer room. I was alone in the woman section. I was early that nite thinking that they will start earlier since the Isyak prayer time has shifted to be earlier. I spent the time to recite several pages of verses while waiting for prayer time. I guess when I am all alone my mind can go thinking and remembering whatever the mind wish until I snap back to present time.

My thought that nite was my late grandmother. She was the one who guided me a lot in spiritual believe. Still remember when I was a little girl even before starting school; she brought me to mosque for tarawikh prayer, Aidil Fitr and Aidil Adha’s prayer with her. Being a little girl, I don’t really understand all of this. What I knew was just to follow what my grandma said and did. Whenever I was tired of following, I just went running around the mosques to kill time with other friends, like a normal kids. Suffice to say that it provide some kind of inner believe which instill inside me.

When I grew up, I always curious about many things and I was always gone against what I was not supposed to do based on religious believe. Finding my own path probably the closest I could describe. Having said that, everytime there was tendency to do too much beyond what was forbidden, it was always an inner voice inside me which stopped it. With my inquisitive mind, I do wonder and I do questions about it. What is it really that hold me back?

No matter what, it was always reflecting to my childhood life, the way I was brought up within family which strictly observed religious believes, even as I grow up, I have to admit, I don’t consider myself so serious follower. But...I am finding my true path..let it be a baby step and keep on progressing little by little...

My point is that, most often than not, the way we brought up does influence our behavior and action.

To my dearest late grandma aka TOK…my soul is with you.. Even we are in two different world, I always ask for your dua for me to be strong to go through all the hardship in my life.

Thank you for showing me all that. And I am missing you much. My prayer is always for your peaceful soul in the other world. AMIN.

Previous entry about "MENGINGATI YANG TIADA".

Monday Oct 9, 2006.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

My point is that, most often than not, the way we brought up does influence our behavior and action.
<===Definitely!

Lollies said...

i believe so. even how much we are astray. May God guide us on the right path. And may our Iman stay intact.

Dapat fadhillat atok awak bila awak tulis ni agaknya ek?

dudae_simboyo said...

.

i say man, bila sentimentol macam ni, susah nak comment....

.

anggerik merah said...

DITH,

yes, definately.
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Lollies,

Tu lah, bila dah sorang2 macam2 terfikir..
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Dudae,

I was smiling reading yr comment. Sekali-sekala (or selalu ke?) ada jugak sentimentol..Tu lah, let the emotion out is better than holding it back kan...:-)...Lepas tu baru rasa legaa...hehehe.

Ehh..u jadi nak mai sini next month? Bulan puasa tak main golf ka?

UglyButAdorable said...

my prayers for your late grandma...may Allah bless her soul.

i agree..let it be a baby step...it's a start

Kak Teh said...

Al Fatehah kpd arwah nenek.

simah said...

u r lucky to be able to remember ur grandma n to spend time with her like u did... i wish i could too...n i wish my kids could too...a grandma's love is always special...though i have never experienced it myself..

S said...

Hi Anggerek merah,

Gee...how sweet this entry is. Nice that you have memory of your late grandma. I don't remember my late grandma as I was youngest girl and my late mom was the youngest girl too. God took my late grandma when I was tiny still. But my late mom always told me stories of my late grandma, so macam I kenal lah juga. Terasa sedih.

anggerik merah said...

UBA,
Thanks for the dua.
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Kak Teh,
Al Fatihah

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Simah,
yes..she always pampered me same like other cucu till the end. And showed us the right way.. One thing I remember abt her is that istifar & zikir is in the mouth all the time.
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S dear,
thanks for sharing yr story. Even if you had never met her I am sure your late mom make you feel that yr grandma is close to yr heart.
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