Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Fighting Fear or Failure

a) Adopt a "can-do" attitude
Simply say to yourself: "I can do this." Take a deep breath and just do it. Once you have actually committed yourself, you will find that a lot of your apprehension disappears.

b) Alter your thoughts about failure
Look for the positive side of failure: a disappointment is also an important opportunity to learn. Analyse why an effort failed, and write down both what you know you did right and what you suspect went wrong. Next time, try a new approach and eliminate the mistakes your have identified.

c) Keep your sense of proportion
Failure in a task or a test is not a major disaster; it is a common experience in everyone's life. Try not to inflate an isolated incidence of failure into a catastrophe. Avoid thoughts such as "I'll never be successful at this" or "I'm doomed to fail."

d) Stop avoiding what scares you
If you are avoiding a particular situation that scares you, write down exactly why you are afraid. If you fear real physical harm, you are probably correct to take evasive action, but if it is only laughter or ridicule that you are dreading, take a deep breath and confront the problem head-on. You are very likely to find that your worries were baseless.

e) Use your imagination
Rehearse the awkward situation in your mind, visualising a successful outcome. For example, imagine reading a test question you know you can answer well and visualise yourself writing a first-rate answer. This kind of visualisation can help you overcome even the most crippling sense of impossibility.

f) Learn to relax
In many cases, relaxation techniques can help to combat the physical symptoms of anxiety before and during the performance of a challenging task. One trick is to tense and then relax the muscles of your body in this order: foot, calves, thighs, stomach, arms, shoulders, and neck. While you are doing this, be sure to maintain regular, even breathing.


Ely said...

i have problems with (d) stop avoiding what scares you. cos i do avoid them and find difficulty handling what scares me...but i am getting better now :)

Count Byron said...

Anggerik... great write!
The fear you are controlling here could as well be a fear of Public Speaking, one that grips 89% of U.S. population, surpassing the fear of death.

"One trick is to tense and then relax the muscles of your body in this order: foot, calves, thighs, stomach, arms, shoulders, and neck." ... wish I could master this but wouldnt it take very long to finish all your body parts.. by then the microphone would be waiting for you a good 5 minutes if you are the first speaker? Great for second and subsequent speakers.. more time to do the relax exercise

dr in the house said...

If we could adopt all the above in our everyday routine, insyallah we'll succeed. I should inculcate them in my grown up kids. Not easy though.

Forgot to ask: has your little man come back to Malaysia yet? How is he coping wothout you?

anggerik merah said...

Ely. true that is quite challenging

Count, hehehe..need to get more practice to make it work maybe....plus try to cope with butterfly in stomach..:-))

DITH, my little man will be back to Msia soon. Me, buzy packing and plan for shifting hse. Not sure how he will cope without me. But I think he will be alright..thanks for asking..

Have great weekend everyone.

atenah said...

OMG, I have been reading motivational books such as this all month long. We ARE in the same boat.

RojakBuah said...

lama tk jenguk sini...nnt kena khatam semua ni....take care..