Rumbling thoughts

While digging into company system today for on-line mid-year performance review, I noticed my new appointed position. Alhamdullilah I had been appointed to higher position in my technical career but the promotion part will be lapsed for the next few months. This was the outcome of technical interview I had many months ago.

The truth was, too many of my friends were expecting me to aim higher. The moment I step back into company, they foresee me to jump into at least 2 steps higher to where I left. It was quite difficult for me to face them and explain my personal view. Nevertheless, what is most important is I should be comfortable and enjoy doing what I am doing. It is no point if the position that I am holding create unnecessary stress to me which in the end I felt burden of holding it.

Tell me that I am weird or stupid for not wanting higher pay. But…so much in life that I wish to accomplish apart from climbing up the career ladder. One thing I am sure of is that I am not good with “KIPAS” if that is the strategy to go up. I go with my skill and capability. In many cases some friends said to me that I am under valued myself. Only God knows why…

My early morning rumbling thoughts...

Selamat datang 2008

Tirai 2007 telah pun berlabuh. Semuanya ditinggalkan sebagai pengalaman, kenangan dan pengajaran semuga kehidupan yang mendatang ditempuhi dengan penuh kesabaran serta ketabahan….

Selamat datang 2008…

p/s I am too weak to write anything. The antibiotic I have to take (3 times/day) really weaken my body. Feel so drowsy and don’t feel like doing anything else except sleep and sleep. But Insyaallah I am getting much better.

Keep smiling and loving!

Anggerik Merah

January 1, 2008

Happy New Year 2008

Wishing everyone HAPPY NEW YEAR...

I am down with flu and fever...and hybernating for speedy recovery... to catch-up and be ready to celebrate the NEW YEAR 2008

Of lil man's Junior Championship and Candy

The pics tell stories how Candy, our newbaby, came into our family.

Candy after taking shower.

Headache & lovely Candy

Since yesterday, I had headache. Not sure what triggered it. I believed too long sitting (i.e. almost the whole day) listening to briefing on matters related to happening within organization. Interesting results of people survey. After being back to corporate world almost 10 months now, I felt really miss my precious and challenging moment being a student. The objective is so very clear and focus. But in corporate world things will sway here and there depending on the games being played. That is the reality. I try hard not to succumb myself into this uncertain future and how things move within organization. A lot to read between the lines and do own interpretation. In this situation I have to be clear about my personal objectives and what I want to do and how it align with company need. The worst case if we our self don’t know what we want.

I have been writing much about my work offlate. Less about the happening within my personal life. In reality much is going on but sometimes hard to write. Anyway, this space to offload. At this time of the day, 2 am, I could not sleep and I felt very exhausted. Maybe I am having fever inside. Feel very warm internally. Big man and I had a chat about the happenings and what bothering with corporate world. Somehow this still keep on lingering in my mind. I need a panadol to ease the headache. I think I might have a slight fever too!

Candy is so cute and adorable. I just enjoy calling her as she will respond with "meow meow" and slowly approaching me to get attention and stroking soosn as I step in the house. Lovely animal with personal attachment and love. Pictures for cat's lovers out there...

My clicking fingers...

Now, my fingers feel like clicking again. Please bare with me as I just let my thought transfer to words. Sorry if I am jumping up and down..here and there. I was just back from 3 days away at hotel last night. Again, not a holiday but a workshop…mainly works no shop… As usual I take advantage of the stay to catch-up with preparation for 2 presentations which I had to deliver for 2 different topics. The hardest one is the one that I left the subject matters for so many years. So, as expected, I had dig old reports and materials to recall the detail what was done. The presentation was no big deal…but preparing for expected questions is a big job. Since the detail might have erased from brain after so more years. I told myself, I could only manage to re-read the old reports for certain extend. If something that I don’t have time to review, I have to be humble to say that I could not recall if any questions rose. Yes, I did exactly that.

For another presentation at the symposium in nearby local uni, the time limit is too short…10 minutes. I had to condense my material and encourage the audience to read my paper or ask me questions…Meeting some professors and new lecturer at that uni as part of networking is very enjoyable to me. We could exchange our experience on our research area. While during workshop at Mariot Putrajaya, exchanging knowledge and expertise between our organization, Australian research organization, local uni expertise and local company expertise is also a good one. But at the end of the day, brain so drain out…so much new knowledge to be digested especially in the area of which not within my expertise. Nevertheless it is fun since everyone is learning from each other.

Within my area of expertise/experience on that particular subject matter, apparently I was the only one who still around in the company. Others who had been involved in this project up to the implementation stage are no more in the company. They had found their way out…majority to the land of desert…Arabian desert… the pert is so irresistible… Me? Still want to stick around… as long as I can still fit into the environment… and still be around the circle of family… being away to other land is not my preference right now… I been long enough for quite sometimes..

Now back to baby matters. I thought I had given up on that since my other half is not so into it even though the lil man is quite persistent in persuading his papa. It is all started with my lil man been on stage voluntarily for some Disney magic performance sometime ago. My cousins and their kids were there. I didn’t join them as the VIP tickets were limited. I let both lil man and big man to join the performance. And me…stay home doing my cores. The story I heard was that my lil man was really enjoyed being on stage to participate on the show. He was so very confident and full of enjoyment. One picture was captured to reflect the whole story…

A week after that event, my cousin called me to ask if lil man would want to be in another show…a different show. He agreed and we proceeded with that…but a load of story to describe the outcome of that junior showmanship competition. Not that we wish him to win, but the fact that he had the dilemma within him… The dilemma of not being up close and personal to this baby…. It is quite an emotional story if no one knows the real story behind it. Maybe I will blog about this later if I could describe it with words. Nevertheless the event comes out to be memorable one for lil man and for us all. After that event, this baby is just like his own sibling. Surprisingly, never did I have known, big man is also fond of this baby. Now, the 5 month old baby becomes part of our family. The moment of separation will be hard later on. We might end up continuously taking care of this baby, if both lil and big man find it hard to detach from this lil one. This is our new baby….

Her name is Candy, named by lil man, a combination of her parent’s name. Brown tabby white Persian (If I correctly described it). She is a new addition o our family. Candy help to balance tantrum that lil man have due to his high functioning asperger syndrome autistic character. That is the story of our new baby.

Will be back… Selamat hari raya aidil adha to everyone.

Anggerik M
December 15, 2007

Pictures tell stories but upload too slow

November has been the busiest month for me. I could only count with fingers how many days I stayed in the office and home. Nevertheless, I am contented with all activities which kept me occupied. Just that, by now I drain so much of energy for a continuos move around especially the part which I have to drive in a congested area of Kl.


Paste some pictures to capture what was going on in November 2007 may suffice to capture some memories...but upload is too slow...so only one picture here.

Continue with my blog writing... now already December. Time flies like a rocket. Many time I sat down and trying to write something in my blog...but my fingers just didn't move...that was what happen. Obviously, by the time I am home, all my energy drain out for the day. All I see is a sofa to land as soon as I came into the house..

The closer I am to the end of the year, my list of things to do at office is getting longer... Loads of adhoc things come along which disturb all the listed plan to do..sigh..Leave me with no time for myself...

Anyway, that is what it takes in this work place... nevertheless, I still keep myself laughing and giigling whenever needed to dissipate some heat release...

I mumble again..

Maybe if my finger could be back to click..will share story about our 4 month old new baby.