Saturday, November 19, 2005
On Oct 24, 2005, I spoke my mind out on paper because of strong urge inside me to sort out what is really bothering me one by one. I need to do this so that I can move on and continue to be strong. Reading it to me is just like talking to the dead wall.
I had promised to my lil brother a.k.a. N earlier that one day I will tell him the story. Finally I did after he agreed to the conditions….I sent him this mystery of my life story bcoz I hate to leave him with curiosity and confusion as it is enough to let me confused alone. Furthermore, Ramadhan is the best month to let go all grouches, anger & frustration once and for all and moved on..and I was able to talk about it.
The ground rules were set upfront for him to agree plus several other conditions (eg. don’t get stress-up with my story… If it did then pls exit yourself from my story and do keep it to yourself as I remain as anonymous, and erase this file after you read it and finally…. can I trust you?)
The ground rules: not to get simpati & belas kasihan from him or anyone, if he want to say something he is most welcome, if not then just be silence listener, don’t have to say anything. It is fine with me..
A big release I felt inside me just to empty my thots and move on with life..
My guess is that lil brother has decided to be silence listener or exit from my story or honor the title of my email to him “ my long last email to you…” since until this moment there is no news from him….
No matter what…. his present will stay in my memory forever ....
My dear lil brother, thank you for being there to listen to my mysterious life story…. and I will continue with my life journey....