Wednesday, February 08, 2006

As the new life begin..

It has been more than a week since my little man left with his big man. I begin my new life alone and keep myself occupied with many things to do..shifting house, repack and unpack, house cleaning etc etc..and finally look back what I had left as far as my study is concerned..

So much that I wanted to hold my tear when we were about to part at the airport, I failed to do so. My tears run through my cheeks like a bursting pipe. I wish I could be like the mother of children in Narnia. I kept smiling with tears and pat at his back saying that he is going to be alright without me for a wee while. I knew that he hold that promise that I make to him.

The night before he left, I had a lovely chat with him. I knew how much he didn't want to leave. I felt guilty inside me for letting him go and be away from me for a while, but I have to let it go. To make him happy and have something to look forward to...I said " Baby, make sure after you had your prayer, dua to Allah to bless me with money so that I could buy you the plane ticket and you could come back here to spend time with me during your school holiday ". He hold that promise very strongly. The big man did not know that we had that promise made. My lil man appears more contented knowing that he might be back here.

That morning, he didn't want to get up from bed and he made very small steps toward bathroom. I made a joke to him " Do you want me to help you moving faster by pushing from your back?". He said " yes mama, please do that.."

I drove my lil man with his 2 friends and also big man to the airport. The three boys sitting at the back had a lot to talk about. My lil man said to his friends.." I will miss this place a lot especially the smell of the grass, the fresh air and landscape..and I will be back for holiday" I just turned my face to the big man and smiled..

As the new life begin...I do feel lonely but I know that I have mission to accomplish and life must go on...I will hang on there and think about all the wonderful things which keep me going...


Sir Count and all my dearest blogger friends..thanks for your moral support. It does make a different to me...

16 comments:

ninuk said...

Ms AM, must be really hard on you to be parted thousands of miles away from yr little and big man. As a consolotion, with the advancement of technology, internet, blogging, skype and what not we can still be in touch.

- regular reader but not regular commentor

Queen Of The House said...

AM, you can always count on us blogging moms and dads to give you some friendly support as you go about your 'new' life. I hope your little family is doing okay ... it is hard to be apart but maybe that will be an incentive for you to give that last extra push to complete your task there. Very soon you'll be home with big man and little man :)

Smile Anggerik, smile.

sya said...

AM.. dulu kalau I rindu, I look at the moon.. I console myself.. we are not far, in fact we are looking at the same moon... sigh

demonsinme said...

lovely red orcid...

the love of a mother, and the love of a wife...

two of the most greatest love any man would longed for. trust me lady, when the lil' man be big, and the big man be old, this moment in time would be the sweetest moment for them. so let not your sadness bloom. be merry for the time that you have had.

anggerik merah said...

Dear All, I donno why...while reading all of your comments..naturally my tears running down my cheeks..emmm...the soft side of me!

Ninuk, thanks for dropping by. Yes, all of this gadget and the software do make long distance seems to be so near.

QOTH, thanks dear! Yes, my little family will be fine. We communicate uncountably in a day. Both man missed me a lot and expressed in their own way. Yes, I will keep smiling.

Sya, a very good suggestion which I almost forgot about the moon. Maybe if I see moon at night I should do that. Having the sunshine (once in a blue moon during this season) shine into my new bedroom make me feel so contented! So much energy..

Demoninme, welcome to AM's entry. Having man's point of view abt my thot isa great advantage. Thanks for your comment.

Queen Of The House said...

Sya's comment reminded me of this song two little mice sang in the movie "Mouse Tails" - the brother and sister mice became separated, and one night while looking at the moon, they each sang:

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

Take care, AM.

anggerik merah said...

QOTH,...it is a lovely lovely song....:-))..Thanks

dr in the house said...

Anggerik with QOTH's song, what more can I say? :))

I know how you feel...parting with your loved ones especially the offsprings can be painful...

But this is life, we have to make sacrifices to lead a better life.

I have friends who send their kids at very tender age far away from home all in the name of searching ilmu and making their kids better muslims....and I cant even part with mine even for a day without missing them!

We will brave through all our trials together, insyallah!

Ely said...

hugggggsssssssss...

i remember this happened when i moved to the US w/o the kids. it was so painful, so tearful.

i know how u feel girl. so u know who to holler when u need support ok!

Kak Lady said...

AM...memang sedih untuk melepaskan orang kita sayang pergi meninggalkan kita walaupun buat sementara waktu...tapi demi kebaikan kita terpaksa rela dlm paksa...moga AM akan tabah melalui hari-hari mendatang tanpa sikecil disisi...kuatkan semangat & hope you will complete your task there very soon...

maklang said...

Sedihnya Maklang rasa.... Am tabahkan hati dan semuga cemerlang selalu. InsyaAllah masanya akan tiba untuk Am kembali bersatu dengan family.

Kak Teh said...

aaah, the sacrifices! It will all be worth it. It'll be hard, but it'll be worth it! Be strong!

ailin...in aalborg said...

I still can't get used to being away from my abang beruang (a name he adopted from his uni days. sebab dia banyak bulu macam beruang!!!) Anyway, the first time was when I needed to go back to Malaysia to give birth to Akif. Second was 2 weeks ago when Akif and I went to London withou him. WAAA!!!!!! Sungguh menyayat hati.

bergen said...

I know how he must have felt.

atenah said...

it wont be much longer dear
believe that you'll do it, get that phd
we'll say our prayers ok

anggerik merah said...

Thanks to all for dropping by. Big hugsss from AM.

It will not be too long...