Saturday, July 29, 2006
Assertive or Aggressive?
It is easy to mistake aggression for assertiveness. If you sense that you are too overpowering when pursuing your goals, watch out for these signs:
Your posture - do you draw yourself up to your full height and spread your limbs widely to occupy the maximum space? Try sitting or standing differently, so that people do not feel physically threatened.
Your gaze - do you stare fixedly at people, willing them to look away? Instead, look directly at the person to whom you're speaking no more than one-third of the time.
Your face - do you wear a cold, unsmiling, or frowning expression when you assert yourself? It is much better to smile as you speak.
Your voice - is your voice loud, deep and hectoring, and do you talk over others? If so, soften and modulate your voice, and allow others to speak in their turn.
Your gestures - are your gestures prodding and accusatory? Try neutral gestures, and don't rely too heavily on your hands for emphasis.
Feb 20, 2006