Journey-Rio 1

Now is 7:30 am Rio De Janeiro time. It is 13 hours different from home time. We arrived last night at about 8 pm after a 12 hour journey from KLIA to CDG, Paris, 4 hours transit and another 11 hours from CDG to Rio. I managed to get good sleep from KLIA as I told the stewardest that I skipped the late dinner. I need to save some energy as I expected I would be very tired with economy class from CDG to Rio.

At CDG, while on transit, I picked up a couple of fridge magnet from shop and had I nice hot milestrone soup. Still felt my tounge a bit burn with that hot soup till now. I did not at all do much reading in the flight except with some flight magazine. Hence, the book on The Last Lecture by Randy Paush was remained not finished. While in lounge area in CDG, I snapped a few pictures of airport new wing at terminal 2E. I thouch it is very nice architecture, a combinaton of half dome glass and wood strike in between. Open to the sky...blue or bright gloomy. Yesterday was slightly bright sky. Energy saving architecture.

With economy class cabin on Air France to Rio, I tried to close my eyes as much as I could. It was an intermittement sleep as the cabin was quite noisy with several languages...portuguese, spanish, french.. The leg space was quite cramp. Nevertheless, I am glad that my earlier rest in MAS did help me. Forget about reading anything...that went 11 hours journey.

Arrived in Rio, it took quite q while for us to get our luggage. Surprised to see my Carlton bag was dented, slight deform on the hard case side. A taxi was chartered by the this country's giant company, waiting to pick us up. A name written on placard was misleading as the first name of my colleague was wrongly written. We had to make sure, it was meant to us. With loads of advise from friend we have to be extra careful with safety in this country. We arrived at Ceaser Park Ipanema hotel, facing the seaside, not very far from Copacabana as in the map.

I settled in the room, unpack my things and had a nice hot shower to return to refreshing mode. I tried to fight the jet-lag only until 9:30 am, then went to bed. I woke up at around 12:30 am thinking that it was early morning (i.e. 6 am). Well, I con't go back to sleep. Get on to internet, check email, send email, and and read news. I did browse thru the hotel booklet to find-out what they offered. So many safety precautions from bringing out only necessary valubles up to how to lock the door etc etc... Wow...serious precaution! I don't dare to go out at night even with my colleagues.

I went back to sleep thinking how to plan a day today so that I could be more effective in the day and fight the jet-lag as in the next 3 day of meeting I will be fully alert. Wondering around town with tourist guide is in my mind. I had a dream of it.... but in that dream, I was in Japan...

I was in touch with big man thru SMS as I miss spending my weekend with both men I dearly love. Big man had to attend my ex-boss's daughter wedding and met old friends there. My mind could not help to think about next weekend as I will be back just on time my lil man's birthday. I had reserved two tickets for Disney on Ice High School concert for both of them for Sunday afternoon show. Since earlier plan I was supposed to be back on Monday morning, I could not be there for the show. Big man asked me if I wish to join lil man for the show...if only I don't feel like sleeping... Most likely I will be enjoying my sleep on Sunday next week.

Signing off for now...

Anggerik merah
Ceaser Park hotel, Rio De Janeiro
7:44 am
August 11, 2008

Hidden pain

I didn’t remember when the last time I really burst into tears. To cry is good..At this time as I woke up for my prayer, I could not help it…the pain which I try to hide, it is burst out in this peaceful morning hours while others are in their dream land.

I manage to hide and suppress pain inside me very well for many many months, just for reasons that I want to bring back the positive in me and pull all the strength, to be back on my feet. To some extend it make me to be bold enough keep continue with life…accepting what is coming and live in a moment of time.

But the burden that I carry on is so hard on my shoulder… I bleed inside whenever I remember about my unfinished commitment that I still carry with me and whenever someone ask me or call me with the title. Sometimes I kept on thinking why it is so hard for me to get it through. I am grateful to Almighty to see all my friends had finally got through it.

Every time in my prayer, I kept on asking HIM to make it easy for all my friends and I to get through it. Alhamdullilah, most of friends that I know finally succeeding after the hard work and sacrifice. I am so happy for them and I dance to joy to hear good news about them. It also helps to keep giving me that strength to see it through the end. But so much that I have to take on board and I felt that I don’t have much energy to get to the finish line sometimes.

Nevertheless, it is not in my vocabulary of life that I will not be able to get through it. It just that so many obstacles that I had to pass through in life of which I had to set priority.

I pray to HIM to give me all the strength, peace of mind and barakah to reach to the end….AMIN.

Only HE knows what is in my small mind and heart…

Coming from heart and soul,

Anggerik merah
August 9, 20008
3:30 am

Note:

I will be on the jet plane from tonight. Will only be back next Sunday. Total travelling time will be more than 24 hours. I set my mind to enjoy the journey and may Allah keep me fit to accomplish whatever I have to accomplaish there. It will be a short trip as I have to cut short my stay to rush back home for a very important presentation to the top most committee....

Whenever all critical things to accomplish will happen almost at the same time...I try to just smile and take it as it comes... No more expected to be all perfect...more like enjoy the cruise and be who I am...

Update: August 9, 2008...

wake up in the morning feel fresher as battle with PMS is over... Whenever body hormone take control of body & mind, everything appears to be impossible to accomplish. Simple things can be forgotten, body and mind coordination goes hire-wire. Prefer to be alone in own world...hate socialising. Do not argue as I am always right and do it my way. I can be a lion king at no time...

another bit & pieces

My dear friends, my previous entry trigger loads of concern about my health. Insyaallah, I will keep remembering my current state of health and all your advice. Will take it easy as much as I could.

I was in Awana Genting for the last 3 days...another workshop gathering of technical fraternity within company. Over 200 participants. The workshop was a combination of technical presentations for 1.5 days and team building for 1 day. As usual night activities was filled with BBQ dinner, recap of last year event, karaoke, group performance for the purpose of networking.

My main function was to moderate one of the technical sessions. As usual, I always actively participate in the group performance. This time around, again a Kuck Kuch Ho ta Hei bollywood team the song given to our group. Within short time or group manage to cook-up something for performance. One young lady in our group help to direct our 2 minutes performance. So there I go...dancing the bollywood to kick start the drama....good to loose up the shoulder and chest...you know the kind of goyang...whatever people call it. Good exercise too!

Moderating the technical session went well...as I tried to make it a bit semi-formal to trigger discussion.

Yes, I have not fully recovered from the effect of fever I had 2 weeks ago. The join pain is still there. Still a bit of coughing which doesn't want to go away. I got tired very fast. Nevertheless, I try to take it easy. I must keep fit for the next business assignment which I have to travel again for quite a long distance. 12 hours to Paris, then another connecting flight for 11 hours to South America.

My 2 weekends will be sacrificed starting this saturday for work related matters. I realise, travelling for work related is not anymore something that I am looking forward as compared to my young days. But again...it comes with the job function with specific objective to achieve...What I need is the energy to be able to accomplish the task. At this point I have no subordinate to delegate since this area is very new for the company. The kick-start is my responsibility that I have to shoulder.

Both big man and lil man have to bare with me with my missing in action... Not sure what choice do I have right now if I were to stay less hectic with work. I pray that the situation would be better when everything is in place once I have subordinate and the project gets going. Still many challenges ahead that I have to face...for every success there are several frustrations along the way...

I need to go to sleep now... Will keep writing when ever I have the opportunity.

Anggerik Merah
August 6, 2008
11:00 pm

Not surviving the storm but dance in the rain...

Exactly a month ago (June 30, 2008: 11:oo pm), I was packing my things for a business trip to Japan. I took my mobile from my office handbag and noticed one missed call from old friends sent in at 10:20 om. The message read

"Assalamualaikum...to let you know that Dr. M passed away a couple hours ago after sudden collapsed at KLCC..."

My heart beating fast the moment I read that message. Tried to reach my friend to know detail, but not successful... I told big man about the news as big man also knew Dr. M well. Immdeiately big man warned me. "Dr. M was a very hardworking person. He will continue his work at home once the children goes to sleep. See what happen to him. Just in split second he was gone."

I could not say anything more as I was shocked. Just 2 weeks before this incident, I had some false alarm which scared me. After lunch with friends in office cafeteria, my friends and I walked back to office. As we entered the office door, suddently I had this surge of fast heart-beat. I almost felt as if I would faint. But queitly I control myself and kept silence. I would not want to tell my two other friends who were walking with me at that time. I rushed to my chair and tried to calm down. Then I went to my other lady friend to let her know how I felt at that time and asked her to look after me in case I fainted. It was very scary to have that sudden change in heart beat. And I could not figure out the reason. Following that blood test was done on me, good to know that generally I am health with the some slight increase in cholesterol level. But doctor said that is not something to worry...

With the sudden death of Dr. M, it is a wake up call for all of the at the office... to keep a healthy life style... but most of the time work stress is unavoidable. We must knowhow to manage it well. The sudden demise of Dr M is a big lost. He is a very nice person...friendly and we can always count on him to sort out some difficult problem... But when our time is up... not a single minute will be delayed.

Another interesting story....one day my big man told me that he was in conversation with someone at the wet market. The person asked him why seldom seing me...Big man told him that my wife always travel for business. Then that person ask big man why don't he marry another one. Big man told him that if he really wanted to marry another one, he would have done it when we both separated for almost 4 years when I was in UK.... So I gave my big man a big smile ..

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A very touching story indeed...I received this forwarded email...Something to ponder...

How to Dance in the Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor'sappointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?' He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought.

'That is the kind of love I want in my life.' True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

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Anggerik Merah
11:32 pm
July 30, 2008

Another year has passed...

Anggerik at level 5 lobby of Hilton Schipol Airport, Amsterdam

Muhammad Adib Zikri, my lil sister's fourth son..now 3.5months. We called him "MAT SENGEH" as he is all the time smile...
Marissa Atifah, 4 year old, share the same date of birth with me. She is my lil sister's second child, i.e Adib's big sister
A white chocholate Mecadamia b'day cake from Lil man and big man. Lil man chose the cake and big man pay for it...Thanks to both beloved man in my life.

Yes, today 23 July 2008, another year pf my life has passed. I am blessed with what Allah has installed for me in this life.

Despite of my not in the pink of health, I am thankful to Allah for many things.


Happy birthday to Marissa Atifah & Mak long Anggerik Merah.

Anggerik Merah
July 23, 2008
11:16 pm

What money can buy...

I was at one of the talk organised within company on matters related to EQ...

Something interesting to ponder as my take away from that session

MONEY CAN BUY HOUSE BUT NOT HOME

MONEY CAN BUY BED BUT NOT SLEEP

MONEY CAN BUY CLOCK BUT NOT TIME

MONEY CAN BUY BOOK BUT NOT KNOWLEDGE

MONEY CAN BUY FOOD BUT NOT APPETITE

MONEY CAN BUY STATUS BUT NOT RESPECT

MONEY CAN BUY BLOOD BUT NOT LIFE

MONEY CAN BUY MEDICINE BUT NOT HEALTH

MONEY CAN BUY SEX BUT NOT LOVE

Sustainable happiness and sense of personal balance are derived from internal (intangible) qualities rather than external (tangible) assets.
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I am knocked down by viral fever for the last 3 days. I am attached to my bed most of the time. All joins are acking.

AM

July 20, 2008

10:30 pm

Overdue

Opppp....my entry is already overdue by 2 weeks. Back from Chiba and a short 3 hours wondering around AKASUKA was so fast leaving my memory. Too much going on everyday and I don't even have time to transfer some pictures taken.

After came back...presentation to VP, presentation to community of practice, write report on trip, and many many more.....more to come...never ending. Just take it one at a time...that is my philosophy. If I need to hide away...I will do.

Just like today.. with office attire I work at home to prepare for another talk on Thursday. Strategise what to say in my brain...things that I had not done for for sometimes. Need some recall and reading on the subject matter. But I must admit, I like it...the etchnical presentation I mean... better than presentation to Management which always ask about value creation...and value creation all the time. I am bored with the same questions...People under Technology and Research Management needs those thing from us...poor fellow researchers and I must admit a low paid brain too...

BTW, I will be travelling again mid of next month. This time very far. I better enjoy it....work hard/smart and enjoy/play hard too..

AM

July 15
9 pm