Journey...

A journey…

I was back from business trip almost a week ago. Alhamdullilah everything went smoothly. Back to office, I was striving to get proposal done. After 3 nites stayed back at office, the draft was done and forwarded to my bosses for further discussion.

Weekend was great as we traveled back home for wedding. I was still haven’t got over from jetlag, nevertheless the spirit of being togetherness with everyone for the weeding really make me forget about my tiredness. The wedding was great.

Back to KL alone without family was really a lonely journey. I wish I could be with them for the school holiday.

My mind has not got over with some office issue. I kept on voicing out. Sometime, I felt that I wish someone said to me .. “Shut-up AM”…so that I could just go along with the red-tape and bureaucracy. Drain loads of my energy and enthusiasm.

Today, I was not feeling too well. Maybe I am still exhausted with no rest since many weeks. Body and mind are not coordinating well. I continued with hearing cd on mind programming hypnotize. I did this after lunch when my body and mind at the lowest productivity. It helps in some ways to relax body and mind.

I could not wait for weekend just to pamper myself with do nothing, rest and no long drive to office.

Tomorrow, I need to present to my CEO prior to presenting to VP..then next to company board of directors on awareness of technology that I am asked to spearhead.

I know that I had no been balancing between work and life for the last several weeks. My weekend was gone with traveling and I miss by bicycle too.

I pray that Allah continue giving me the strength and energy to do whatever I need to do….and to be healthy too… to give and receive more love..

I miss both of my big and little man…..and I felt so exhausted

AM
1:15 AM
Friday May 30 2008

On the move

Leaving Bergen tomorrow morning to Stavanger via boat. Will take about 4.5 hours to reach Stavanger. The only choice we have to escape from Bergen. The Bergen Airport is not funtioning since yesterday due to ground worker's strike. Flight cancelled. We need to get moving from here to Amsterdam. All those travel by flight are affected.

Rearranging our flight is quit a challenge. Nevertheless, we manage step by step. Good to have a colleague travel together. If I were alone, it would be tough.

Anggerik Merah

1:55 AM
Scandic Bergen City Hotel

From the land of beautiful Bergen

Greeting from the land of beautiful Bergen...

Anggerik Merah

4 am

May 14, 2008

Back to the future

I don't like to tell the story about how hectic life is... When too many things come at the same time, just pick it up and move on. Alhamdullilah, I am greatful to Allah for making it easy for me to just go to sleep and switch off from the worldly life. Both my big man and lil man all the time complaining about my loud snoring...hehehe... I guess it goes with age. Well...trying to deny the fact that I am not that old.... why do I have loud snore?

BTW, how do I control this? Of course I don't know how bad it is since I slept like nobody business. But...but...I am seriously worried that I have to travel long distance this weekend in business class...Oh no...what do I do. Should I warn my neighbour that I might annoy him/her. Oh my my...it is embarrasing..

Anyway, I must figure out what to do with it...

I must remember (as quoted by Simah's father in law)... "a successful person is the one who are able to balance between life and career"... The reality is that my work is so demanding...Trying to balance is very challenging. A though came to my mind last week..how I wish I have a million in my account and I don't have to work after all my committment are cleared...Keep dreaming...

Something to be shared at the point when I need a self talk:

This technique has big fancy words for it too:'Pseudo-Orientation in Time.'

Pick a problem you have been experiencing recently.

Look out in front of you and allow yourself to imagine a more resourceful, wiser you. You could even imagine that this future you is pure wisdom light, a fully perfected being! Why not, this is just an imagination experiment after all...

Now physically walk up into your future self, step inside and take a few moments to notice how this feels and just experience that fully and completely...

As you do this, turn around and face the you in the present and observe how that you over there looks like with the problem. Now offer some advice, love and reassurance to that you in the present. How many different ways can that problem begin to resolve itself now?

Walk back into the present you and receive the messages from the future self. And then imagine that future self dissolving and mixing into your heart. Think about future situations where you would have had the problem and imagine being in the situation now with the new insights and resources. Actually run through a few scenarios because this helps your mind 'program in' and generalise the change.

One final thought:

Pick a resourceful state you want to experience more often in your life. Now instead of picking a problem to work with, use the resourceful state to 'go back to the future', and allow your future self to answer the following kind of question:

"What do I need to do to be able to experience this more often in my life?"

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Extracted from Colin G Smith, a licensed Master Practitioner of NLP and author of 'The Half Second Rule: Your Master Key to Safe, Rapid & Effective Change'.

Bali...heaven on earth part 1

A note on Madness and anger

Something happen during the week that make me really angry and pissed-off with HR or capability management. I was really really angry … and this thing makes me become so determined to fight for what I am worth for. All I know I am not a greedy type but if I felt that it was too much …then I lost my tolerance. After few days, I am still having this burning heart and anger inside me. Difficult to calm down and to control. I tried hard to control my anger because of their mistake and stupid thing.

Ya Allah please help me to defend what I am worth for in a professional way rather than with emotional outburst. I try to control and overcome the anger and madness in me. Never had I felt through out my career such a feeling. I have more challenging things ahead of me to kick – off something new in the company and to present to Mr President and the team up there. I do not want to wish this madness and anger in me disturbs my composure and professionalism. I will try hard to overcome it. I need to wisely strategise myself to be able to stand and defend for what my value is. At the same time I have to keep other options in hand in case I decided to say “goodbye” and enough is enough…I need to earn my living and support my family. I pray that Allah give me strength to go on…

I need calm, compose and assertive… think only on the positive feedback from others to keep me going and capitalize on my talents and strength. I want to feel gooddd...

....My current state of mind.

Will be back with beautiful pictures from Bali to ease the anger and madness.

Something I read from Psychologies magazine issue April 2008:

When Archetypes can help you get what you want:

LETTING GO AND STARTING OVER - THE DESTROYER
Whether you are dealing with a relationship break-up or recovering from an illness or addiction, embodying the Destroyer will remind you that change is part of life, and give you the strength to let go and start over.

LIVING IN THE MOMENT - THE JESTER
When you or those around you are getting caught up in the stress and anxiety of modern life, the Jester reminds you to enjoy life and live in the moment. The Jester encourages you to approach problems with a child-like excitement and use laughter to connect with others.

EMBRACING NEW CHALLENGES - THE SEEKER
Whether you dream of climbing the career ladder or the Himalayas, the Seeker connects you with your adventurous spirit. The Seeker relishes new experiences as opportunities to uncover their potential and carve out a truly unique identity.

Good to be back

Bali was great... work and holiday part + do nothing part (i.e. looking at the sea and think of nothing). Much to share...

Will be back to share later as I need to comfort myself on bed at this time to entertain my fever and headache.

With love,

AM