Friday, January 19, 2007

I don’t want the FEAR to stop me!

Note: Simply to express the state of mind at some moment of time. After all this is part of life being happy, sad, anxious, inspire, fear etc etc... But it feel good to write about it...

Writing the emotional coaster at this moment was even difficult as I was fighting hard in my mind to stay with high spirit under circumstances of many challenges which affecting my emotion. I am not sure if I should write it to offload or just to let it battle in my mind. At this point of time I chose to write it. Sometimes I don’t understand why must I have this fear. At some moment I am battling hard to just let the emotion and negative thot pass through my mind so that I can continue with high spirit and move on with this so called battle. The battle which I must go through and wish of winning at the end of the day with God bless.

I woke up this early morning with feeling down again and burst of emotion. I was too tired last night. I just dropped myself on bed and make my space around my file and bag sack. I cried myself out until I don’t feel like crying anymore and stop feeling pity to myself of my weakness and matters which bring down my confident level. If only there is someone around, this emotion will be offloaded easily as I can speak out and let go this negative energy invaded in my mind through out my sleep. I am not sure if this emotion so much due to changes in my body hormone as I always experiences it every month. But I believe it is somehow partly contributed to it.

Anyway, I had tried my best to control this emotion as I could not afford to be down and sometime lost in my own space (read: my mind is blank, forgetful). All I know and all I want is to be in control of my emotional roller coaster inside me. Simply because I don’t want the FEAR (i.e. emotional roller coaster) stop me from what I need to accomplish. As much as possible I let it out from my mind. The reason of my writing is to offload my feeling so that I can feel better. Thank God that I had learnt to quickly switch on and off when dealing with emotional roller coaster.

Above everything I only pray to God to give me the strength and courage to go on and not to let my mind have any thot of leaving this battle even in my dream at this stage. I accept the fact that I am just a normal human being with limitation on my strength and weakness.

I feel better now…

Some simple tips/activities do help as a reminder:
Colin G Smith is a licensed Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and author of 'The NLPToolBox', a personal development book that enables the reader to master any area of their life with amazing speed. Complete information on Colin G Smith's books are availableat his website, including a FREE personal development eBook.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wish you were in a better mood? Perhaps you tried to shift your state of mind to something better but struggled to achieve it. Sometimes we get stuck in our own 'stinking thinking' and forget how easy it is to feel happier, so here are seven simple ways to lift your mood that many people have found useful and some of them may surprise you!

1. Go for a walk. (walk around campus, smelling fresh air when it is not too pleasant! and a good physical exercise too. It was snowing yesterday and the weather is so wonder san galles)

Most folk know that going for a short daily walk is one of the best forms of exercise. If you can, go into a natural environment with flowers, trees and birds. What will you notice first? The different shades of greenery, the fresh smell of country air, the bird sounds, or the sunlight shining through the tree foliage.

2. Listen to some quality music. (from time to time when needed. Different types of music depending on what required to stimulate the mind and body...such as final count down, gemilang, feel, instrumental piano/violin, but Mozard make me want to sleep )

Music creates magical effects. It can shift the listeners state within moments. Why not dig out that album you haven't listened to in ages or why not tune in your radio to something you've never listened to before.

3. Think of others less fortunate. (always)
The fact that you are reading this article suggests that you are probably much better off than many, many people on this planet! What if you were to imagine being in space looking down on the amazing beautiful earth, noticing all the ocean sand lands with the clouds above... And then thinking about the fact that there are many human beings that are starving, homeless and in lots of pain... Allow your compassion for them to grow.

4. Read something radical! (I can't resist temptation whenever I am in the bookstore)

How many different types of magazines can you get these days?! Have you ever waltzed into a big news agents and just browsed through the magazine racks? It's incredible. Why not buy a magazine you wouldn't normally buy. You never know you may discover something wonderful!

5. Laughing at laughter. (Every opportunity to laugh...but not to laugh alone...orang ingat gilerrrr ke apa dia nih...heheh)

Have you ever had the experience when you just laugh for no good reason? Isn't it great! Laughter is one of the best ways to lift your spirits. Can't think of anything funny? Try grinning at yourself insanely in the mirror and notice how difficult it becomes to control your giggle muscles!

6. Simple breathing meditation. (Yes, very easy to do as I stick my butt on the chair most of the time)

A great exercise that you can do anywhere is a simple breathing meditation. No need to dress in orange robes. Simply find yourself in a comfortable sitting position with your back straight. Now close your eyes and become aware of the flow of air into and out of your nostrils. That's it! Do this for 10/15 minutes and you'll find yourself pleasantly surprised how you feel afterward.

7. Doodling just for fun! (Have not done this yet)
Remember when you were young and you used to doodle with crayons for hours. Kids love drawing silly little pictures, why not adults? So get some pens, pencils, crayons or whatever you have and just draw - doodle away until your state of mind shifts.

You might agree that these are all pretty simple and that's what's so good about them. Making changes, mundane or profoundly life-changing, are easily and quickly achieved by putting into action simple ideas, methods, tools and techniques.
Phone call from both lil and big man everyday do balance my life here!
Thanks to both my two lovers. I love you both very much. Muahhhh.....

Anggerik M,
Jan 19, 2007; 5:30 am

thots of the day:
You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For, remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind
- Dale Carnegie -
Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong
- Ella Fitzgerald, Jazz Singer -


simah said...

Glad u feel better already :0)

They call u everyday? wow! that is cool..

tak lama lagi dah AM.. sabar yea?.. it will be worth it..

by the way.. personally when i am down, going for a walk always cheer me up.. .. u do too think.. besides chasing the ducks that is *wink*:0)

Nong said...

Be patience. Soon these feelings will pass. Be strong, my prayer is with you.

Take care....

liyas said...

Found this quote somewhere...“I cried because I had no shoes, then I met a man who had no feet.”

lollies said...

banyaknya cabaran awak.

stay strong. i salute you

D said...

your journey is almost over, with Allah's will, you will reach there safely.

Anonymous said...


yes, eveyday I will get a phone call.

thanks Simah

Kak Nong,

Thanks. I need it.



nice quote.
Wonder if you have started your blog. If you have, do share.



Stay I must stay strong. Thanks



Angggerik M