Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Focus (3X)

Today I decided to turn my living room into office scattered with books, papers etc etc..
Feel comfortable letting my hair free without tudung and let it burn like a hot stove. Maybe some hair might fall down like falling leaves in the fall. I can hear the churning voice of bird. Not sure what bird since I could not distinguish many different birds except owl. The aim is to get the writing moving at a more decent rate.

My brain could not work in the office, having two new students around which make the space more congested. I could not focus and concentrate.

I am rewarding myself with Chorale Excelsior and Sinfonia Excelsior, Ralph Vaughan Williams: Symphony No. 5.tonite at 7:30 pm. An hour before the concert, I am going to my weekly Pilate session. So my brain needs to be burned to get all this rewards for today.

This Saturday will be another reward. Musical theatre, that is. Playing Footloose in town. I am going with adik-adik bachelor who have similar interest. I told them to study hard for exam and then we reward our self . That is the promise.

Back to work….focus…focus…focus..

Afternoon Update: paper is reviewed. A good restart.

Called the lil one. He sounds so happy today. The reason being he is surrounded by many that loved him and layan him, kakak I and W.

Mama: Anything or interesting story you want to tell me?

Lil one: Yeah, the black out.......(with enthusiasm he discribed what happened..)

After conversation about the black out story...

Mama: was your weekend? what do you do?

Lil one: I don't want to talk about it. It hurt. I don't like to be hurt..

Mama: Ok...I will not ask you more..

My heart drop to the ground hearing him said that. I donno what it is all about. But I let him forget about it...until when he is ready to talk about it..

In my it because he miss me and his dearest friend here? That's possibly could be the reason. It is just my guess..


Ely said...

my son use to do that a lot when they were in singapore and me here in SF.

when he said that he didnt want to talk about it, i would let it go. but most times, i would force him to tell me, convincing him that it would make him feel better.

it works most times.

anggerik merah said...

Ely dear, thanks for sharing. I appreciate it very much.

Right now he is just with my niece at home. My parents went back to my home town for a few days to see doctor and so happen mu hubby is outstation. That is why I don't want to force him but instead i tried to make him happy over the phone by making all those jokes hopefully will ease his loneliness.

It is difficult but I know that I don't have any choice at this time.

maklang said...

It is sad isn't it when you are so far away from the lil one. Him being alone without Daddy will be even worsekan. Maklang pray for your lil man and your happiness. InsyAllah lil man will be alright once he has adjusted to his new life.

BTW, bila Am nak habis syudy??

AuntyN said...

Sabar lah ye. Semua akan jadi berbaloi di kemudian hari OK. Sabar OK :-)

Kak Lady said...

Anggerik...sedihnya bila dengar AM call that lil one...kak lady dpt bayangkan betapa sunyinya hidup AM di sana tanpa anak disisi...& itulah pengorbanan yang AM sedang lakukan...

Kene banyak bersabar...oh ya mcm Maklang...kak lady pun ingin bertanya berapa lama lagi AM kat sana?

anggerik merah said...

Maklang & Kak Lady...another 4 months.

Auntyn, Insyaallah I can cope & bersabar because I am occupied myself with work. But the lil and the big man back home seems to miss me so much..That is life loads of sacrifice.

dudae_simboyo said...


stavanger is a lot colder..... brrrrrrrrr...